Gay Marriage Debates vs. Wipeout!

Summer TV is here. So where's the brainless fun? Coverage of the California supreme court's Prop 8 ruling or Wipeout! ? Decisions.

By Dave White

Honestly, if this entire column could be about how great Wipeout! is -- and is there anything not to love about people getting knocked on their ass by low-tech obstacle course punishments in which they're punched, thrown into icy water, and catapulted through the air past stuff that's on fire? -- then I'd be way happier than I am right now. Instead I have to keep on talking about all the knuckleheaded fools parading endlessly across my TV screen telling me about why I don't understand the true nature of marriage and how I shouldn't be allowed to have one.

Since the California supreme court's decision the other day, I've been revisited by that smug little dummy of a beauty queen whose name I've just grown weary of writing, a moronic ex-NFL pastor from a megachurch in San Diego who thinks that his chosen religious beliefs should also be inflicted on me and my husband, even though we don't remember signing up to be members of his congregation, and a Texas congressman who thinks it all has to do with the government's need to police public "morality."

The former NFL guy is named Miles McPherson and he's now a minister in San Diego and getting an unusual amount of career traction thanks to CNN and Larry King, on whose show he debated lesbian comic Carol Leifer. Leifer was boringly polite to him, refusing to tell him that he was being illogical and that his beliefs were fascist, allowing McPherson to just blather about how kids without fathers wind up in jail and that the next step after gay marriage is group marriage and child molestation (in his words, "marrying a minor," like how Jerry Lee Lewis did back in the good old days when gays knew their place and kept their mouths shut about everything). And in spite of there being a professional funny person involved in the debate, the biggest crack-up lines came from Larry King. "Same sex. It stays on board here," he says as a segment opener, and if anyone can figure out what that even means, then please contact me. Later he asked Leifer why gays just didn't leave things as they are. Why keep fighting? Her response was something about how it's a civil rights issue and that time is on our side and blahblahblah. But the real reason is BECAUSE WE'RE BORED NOW THAT THE L WORD IS OFF THE AIR, LARRY.

Click here to follow The Advocate on Twitter. 1 2 3 NEXT Page 1 of 3

Dave White is the author of Exile in Guyville. Find him at www.imdavewhite.com .

READ COMMENTS (2) MORE Commentary EMAIL PRINT

RECOMMEND

‹‹Previous Article in Category | Next Article in Category››

FILE UNDER: Dave White

Reader Comments

Back to top
Name: Michael
Date posted: 5/29/2009 10:04:00 PM
Hometown: Seattle

Comment:
Now Now, anyone who's watched "for the bible tells me so" knows that if anything Larry King is pro-gay marriage. Sure he may have let religious groups distort the truth. But as a Journalist he must have both sides of the story, even if one is wrong. I think its great that the gay community is so fired up. But I'm SOOOO tired of them slamming people who don't shout I LOVE GAY PEOPLE!
Back to top
Name: Laurent
Date posted: 5/29/2009 7:00:00 PM
Hometown: Ottawa, Canada

Comment:
The idea of Larry King any discussion about traditional marriage gives me the willies, he has been married 7 or 8 times, he was what 75 at his last marriage and 79 for the birth of his last child, and this is what they want to protect. He never has a fair balance on issues and yet every once in a while surprises everybody with his position on issues. On the View, Joy is not the only liberal, what I am always surprised at is how they do not check their facts, Elizabeth makes them up and the ladies let her, they are either misinformed or are just plain ignorant. During their discussions on Prop 8, they kept letting Elizabeth and Sherri get away with saying that churches would have to allow gay weddings or lose their tax exemptions based on a church in MA that lost its exemption on a private park sperate from the church that denied equal access. Elizabeth claimed it was the church that lots its tax status, not the fact that it was public church owned land seperate from the church.

PREVIOUS 1 NEXT

More Online Only

Commentary Progress in the Midwest
A city native and strong supporter of Kalamazoo's effort to keep an anti-discrimination law reflects on a hard-won campaign.

Commentary What Marriage in Maine Meant for Me

Dana Hernandez is a straight white married mother of two young children. But in campaigning for No on 1 and reporting Election Night outcomes for Advocate.com, defeat hit her like a ton of bricks.

Marriage Equality Terri White Stages Her Leather Encore

Last year, acclaimed stage performer Terri White was homeless and living in a public park. On Sunday, she and her partner held a leather-themed commitment ceremony onstage following her triumphant Broadway turn in Finian’s Rainbow.

Music Ghost Story

Out singer-songwriter Brandi Carlile discusses working with her childhood mentor, coming out publicly, and joining next year's Lilith Fair.

News View From Washington: GOP Upheaval

Now that the only pro-marriage equality candidate in New York's 23rd Congressional district, Republican Dede Scozzafava, has dropped out of the race, Tuesday's election holds any number of political lessons for both the GOP and the LGBT community.

Books Hot Sheet: Ditto Knocking 'Em Dead

This week might not bring anything to the screen other than a Boondock Saints sequel, but there are plenty of reasons to sit at home on the couch or head to your local concert venue.

News Features Sailor Speaks Out
Sailor Joseph Rocha endured years of hazing until he spoke out — then he was discharged for revealing his homosexuality. Nonetheless, the 23-year-old is itching to suit back up.

Music Rainbow High

Busy Broadway heartthrob, gay rights activist, and former Advocate coverboy Cheyenne Jackson chats about his Finian’s Rainbow revival, his politically charged cabaret CD, and laying around in his underpants (pic on page five).

Marriage Equality For Maine, The Time is Now
Money is on their side and the polls look optimistic, but volunteers fighting to preserve marriage equality in Maine are prepared for a fight to the finish.

Television Another Tough Broad

After being outed by a Nazi and locking lips with a hook-up three times in one episode, Christine Woods's tough-talking FBI agent Janis Hawk on ABC's FlashForward might just be prime time's best gay offering — who isn't in Glee club, that is.

Books In Sickness and in Health

Mary Cappello’s memoir Called Back takes readers on a white-knuckle journey through the experience of cancer treatment in America — especially disorienting to navigate as a woman and a lesbian.

Books An American Crime

Best-selling novelist Patricia Cornwell made headlines last week when she filed suit against a New York investment firm for losing $40 million of her money. But she'd much rather talk about her new book, hate-crimes legislation, and Angelina Jolie.

Comedy Gilded Lily

After conquering Broadway, movies, and television, out funny lady Lily Tomlin prepares for the final frontier — Las Vegas.

Entertainment News Ricky Martin, No Shirt and a Baby
Ricky Martin knows how to get the camera's attention. Take a look at the many pictures of Ricky uploaded to his Twitter account in the past three months, always shirtless, frequently carrying one (or both) of his babies.

Television Fresh Blood
With True Blood a bona-fide cultural phenomenon, producer Alan Ball offers tantalizing hints about what to expect on season 3.