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Oprah, Lesbianism, and a Colonoscopy

Gays steaming it up at a Jersey sports bar, Oprah trendsetting with an episode on sudden lesbianism, and a bit too much info from Tyra Banks re: her colonoscopy


Isis, before

The gays are bringing the heartwarmth to the airwaves lately. Don't ask me why. Maybe it's sweeps.

Now, in life, it's always a mixed bag of stuff. All grown folks know this. A bit of awesome happens for the queers in one corner of the globe while at the same time something horrifying takes place somewhere else. But it's weird, when you're paying attention to the media and our little niche in it, how things seem to go in waves. For a while all you'll see is doom: some new injustice or embarrassment or asshole politician trying to make our lives miserable with the help of his newfound friends from religions he formerly demonized.

And then, without warning, it's all smiles and love and cotton candy and glamour shots and people in love with Adam Lambert. And there's no way of predicting which way the tide will turn.

Take Isis, for example. Maybe you saw her get eliminated a couple seasons ago on America's Next Top Model because, as the show's first transgender contestant, she couldn't tuck the candy well enough to do a swimsuit shoot. Don't laugh. Sometimes bulges ruin dreams.

But now Isis is a woman on the outside like she always was on the inside. This is thrilling news for anyone who has made her, in the words of Tyra Banks, "the most Googled woman" in Top Model history. She was just on The Tyra Banks Show this week to talk about her sex-reassignment surgery and to introduce her valiant mother and her adorable boyfriend. After Tyra tried to show true empathy by discussing her own inability to control supermodel farts after a colonoscopy, we all got to learn about "dilating," which is the thing that happens after someone has male-to-female surgery. They place rods inside the new vagina to keep it open during the healing process. Isis explained that it's all quite painful, but the new boyfriend got down on one knee and gave her an engagement ring as incentive to keep her eyes on the prize. Love was totally in the air, the crowd went crazy for it, Tyra made TiVo-rewind-worthy flatulence noises and then spoke in a goofy low voice, as if to imitate the boyfriend, saying, "C'mon, baby, you gotta dilate." It was magical television.

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