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What's a Gay to Do When There's No Gay?

When there's nothing "gay" on TV, Dave White turns to Patti LaBelle's life of Louis Vuitton and macaroni salad, Bill O'Reilly censoring Adam Lambert's lip-lock, and some seriously criminal new Housewives .



Patti LaBelle

Remember when we used to have fictional shows that were all about homosexuals? Will & Grace, Queer as Folk, The L Word, Sex and the City. All of them gone. And who knows when we'll get more of them? It could be a while. It could be forever.

Maybe you didn't watch any of the above. I know I only ever paid attention to The L Word, to be completely honest. Maybe Project Runway was all you needed. And that's fine. But right now we don't even have that. And RuPaul's Drag Race has wrapped its first season. It's going to be at least nine months until Dante's Cove comes back. There's Lambert still hanging in there, but you know about him already. The Whites are kicked off The Amazing Race. I have no idea what's up with that Survivor gay. He may have been eaten by a shark by now. But I guess we'd have heard about that if it had happened, so he's probably fine.

What I'm trying to say here is that there's not a heck of a lot out there that's aimed right at us lately unless you're watching all the talking-head pundits wonder aloud about when the rest of the gay marriage dominoes are going to fall. So here's what I'm looking at in the meantime when I need a little fix:

*If you can find it on your cable system, there's a show on now that looks like it cost about 35 cents to produce called Living It Up With Patti LaBelle. Patti runs around the country going to African-American vintage doll museums and the Motown studios and hair salons where they make giant sculptures on the tops of women's heads. Patti travels wearing a gigantic black sun hat and carrying like a hundred pieces of Louis Vuitton luggage with her wherever she goes. In one scene she says, "I made macaroni salad for the trip." Then she holds up an LV bag and says, "It's in here on an ice pack."

But the best part of the show is the theme song. She sings it. And the words go, "Make the most of every day! We're living it up! With Patti LaBelle! That's my name!" For me, the show could end right there and that would be all I needed.

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Reader Comments
  • Name: Doug D.
    Date posted: 4/18/2009 7:28:00 PM
    Hometown: Kansas City

    Comment:

    They show Gossip Girl in Spain? I didn't even know they still show it here.

  • Name: Franz
    Date posted: 4/16/2009 7:13:00 PM
    Hometown: Seattle, WA

    Comment:

    Will and Grace and Queer as Folk were terrible, never watched the L-Word, I'll have to check it out.......I like to watch Marlene Dietrich concerts.....but that's not really gay..that's just class.



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