When there's
nothing "gay" on TV, Dave White turns to Patti
LaBelle's life of Louis Vuitton and macaroni salad, Bill
O'Reilly censoring Adam Lambert's lip-lock, and some
seriously criminal new
Housewives
.
Patti
LaBelle
Remember when we used
to have fictional shows that were all about homosexuals?
Will & Grace,
Queer as Folk,
The L Word,
Sex and the City. All of them gone. And who knows when we'll get more of them?
It could be a while. It could be forever.
Maybe you didn't watch
any of the above. I know I only ever paid attention to
The L Word, to be completely honest. Maybe
Project Runway
was all you needed. And that's fine. But right now we don't
even have that. And
RuPaul's Drag Race
has wrapped its first season. It's going to be at least
nine months until
Dante's Cove
comes back. There's Lambert still hanging in there, but you
know about him already. The Whites are kicked off
The Amazing Race.
I have no idea what's up with that
Survivor
gay. He may have been eaten by a shark by now. But I guess we'd
have heard about that if it had happened, so he's probably
fine.
What I'm trying to say
here is that there's not a heck of a lot out there that's aimed
right at us lately unless you're watching all the talking-head
pundits wonder aloud about when the rest of the gay marriage
dominoes are going to fall. So here's what I'm looking at in
the meantime when I need a little fix:
*If you can find it on
your cable system, there's a show on now that looks like it
cost about 35 cents to produce called
Living It Up With Patti LaBelle. Patti runs around the country going to African-American
vintage doll museums and the Motown studios and hair salons
where they make giant sculptures on the tops of women's
heads. Patti travels wearing a gigantic black sun hat and
carrying like a hundred pieces of Louis Vuitton luggage with
her wherever she goes. In one scene she says, "I made
macaroni salad for the trip." Then she holds up an LV bag and
says, "It's in here on an ice pack."
But the best part of
the show is the theme song. She sings it. And the words go,
"Make the most of every day! We're living it up! With Patti
LaBelle! That's my name!" For me, the show could end right
there and that would be all I needed.
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