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Oedipus Wrecks

When his mom started dating women, writer Brett Berk was amused. But now she's gayer than he is -- and he's confused.


When I came out to my mother over 20 years ago, her response transcended typical maternal empathy. "As a girl," she said, "I had crushes on female teachers." Aside from this being a shocking example of her skill at steering conversation toward herself, it was simply shocking. After a long marriage to my dad and a five-year trawl through the singles scene ("Honey, I've spent more time on my knees than a maid!"), she was then married to her second husband. And though she had a crew of best girlfriends, their idea of bonding stopped well short of Bound.

But since that marriage collapsed, she's been, as I like to say, going with girls. Initially, I thought it was just a phase. "I don't fall in love with a gender. I fall in love with a person," she said, explaining her infatuation with her first female lover, the addled ex of a famous closeted actress. But with each successive woman, she's plunged deeper into the muff. And when she recently announced her intention to marry her current partner, I made a realization: My mom is trying to out-gay me. Here's the evidence:

Home

While I live in New York City's West Village, the original epicenter of gay life, my mother, since igniting her sapphic torch, has resided in the queer pot of gold at the end of our nation's rainbow: Key West. Her most recent roommate there was a drag queen, and before that she lived with a guy named Gay Bruce, who literally answered their phone, "Gay hello!"

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Reader Comments
  • Name: lenny matthews
    Date posted: 5/21/2009 1:04:00 PM
    Hometown: lucerne

    Comment:

    damn...I missed another chance!! She sounds wonderful, brave and full of life's adventures. u r a lucky guy my dear....

  • Name: Bruce
    Date posted: 5/11/2009 12:48:00 AM
    Hometown: Ithaca

    Comment:

    I just want to know who the Tony nominee, current off-Broadway girlfriend is--I wracked my brain and gone to as many sources to try to puzzle it out. Don't be such a tease.

  • Name: Jean Rubinson
    Date posted: 5/10/2009 3:06:00 PM
    Hometown: Dorchester, MA

    Comment:

    Needless to say, as a relative, this is all very interesting. I doubt that any mean intentions are intended. She's got to be just a little naive to take what she sees on The L Word at face value, but don't we all have our naivete about things that are newer to our experience. She is funny, not mean...and she's got guts!

  • Name: Ambrose
    Date posted: 5/8/2009 1:22:00 PM
    Hometown: Austin, TX

    Comment:

    I think she's doing it on purpose. If you were a painter, she'd probably be out on the street in a smock and a beret. You can't win. Just accept your moderate, in comparison, gayness.



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