Of course Betty's nephew is gay

In the recent Advocate article “Betty’s Family Secret" by Gretchen Dukowitz, the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation’s entertainment media director, Damon Romine, says of Betty’s nephew Justin (Mark Indelicato), “He’s a character with a flair for the dramatic and someone who has a sense of style. To say he’s gay based on that means viewers are letting stereotypes decide for them the definition of gender and sexuality.” While ABC has not officially labeled Justin gay, I find Romine’s archaic reasoning completely irresponsible and offensive. Plenty of gay men of every age are just like Justin. It’s not just a stereotype; it's reality, and it’s OK. I’ve lived enough years and developed enough gaydar that I can watch even a preteen TV character and figure out he’s written to be gay, even if he’s never said, “I’m gay,” even if ABC hasn't issued a press release confirming it. From the first episode I was able to ascertain that Justin was gay from his swishy personality, his feminine vocal patterns, and his obsessive interest in fashion. There’s no need for “a special episode” to spell it out. The boy is gay-gay-gay. Incidentally, the show’s confirmed gay character, Marc (Michael Urie), has all the “stereotypical” gay features Romine mentions. “Flair for the dramatic.” Check. “Sense of style.” Check. And on the recent Thanksgiving-themed episode, Marc even camped it up in drag by prancing around Mode magazine’s fashion offices dressed in an evening gown, long gloves, and a feather boa while singing the theme song to Dreamgirls. Since Marc was officially labeled “gay” by ABC, it’s OK to be “stereotypical.” Huh? Marc didn't say he was gay for a few episodes, but gee, somehow I figured out that he was gay—the same way I instantly recognized Justin as gay.

And I have news for GLAAD’s Romine: In today’s world and even in the past, not every gay person who comes out proclaims it by saying, “I’m gay.” Often they do it just through their actions and general demeanor. Back in the summer of 1983, when I was 13 and my best friend Robert was 14, I realized he was gay after he showed up on my doorstep wearing his mother’s pedal-pusher pants and her big white floppy picture hat. My parents figured it out too. It was Robert’s way of coming out with a bang, and he never had to say he was gay that day for us to figure it out. A few months later, in ninth grade, Robert communicated his gayness to the entire student body by showing up at our junior high school wearing a white sweatshirt fashioned Flashdance-style. Wearing the low-cut scoop neckline suggestively off his naked shoulder, he nearly created a lunchtime riot when the senior student body convened around us, rubbernecking to get an eyeful of this obviously gay boy—a species previously not seen in this hetero land adorned with preppy polo shirts, classic Levi's 501s, and rock-concert jerseys. Robert embraced and proudly communicated his gayness in that Flashdance fashion proclamation just like Justin shows his true gay self in every episode of Ugly Betty, when he gets excited talking about Martha Stewart, dresses up like Gene Kelly in a sailor uniform and tap dances his way through the neighborhood for Halloween, or explains how he stood out in the Thanksgiving play because he was the only one doing jazz hands. On the one episode where Justin and Marc actually meet and interact, Marc tells Justin that he reminds him a lot of his younger self and dishes out wisdom for Justin to follow Marc’s youthful example. He essentially tells Justin to continue to be fabulous, be himself, keep his individual style, and most importantly, learn to run fast. Even if ABC isn't sending out any official gay proclamations about Justin, this exchange between him and Marc was an acknowledgment that these two guys have something in common besides an excessive interest in high fashion. And Marc’s story could have easily been my best friend Robert’s. The only difference was that Robert never had to run; he knew how to fight and didn't stand for any guff about his sexuality.