Mandisa breaks her silence

Wednesday night was your last night on American Idol. What are your feelings? You must be upset.
I was. I was shocked, and I wasn't ready to go. In hindsight, I look back on it now and it was my time. You can't go wrong with who they've got left. It's going to be a great season this year.

There's been controversy about your comments on the Idol Web site and your appreciation for antigay writer and lecturer Beth Moore. Some took it as an endorsement of the "ex-gay" movement. What do you say to people who were turned off by that?
I just heard about that a couple of days ago. It broke my heart. I live my life by the value system that you treat others the way you want to be treated. I let love be my guide. I absolutely hate no one. When I heard that I was really upset.

Is there a conflict between being religious and being gay?
I know my value system, based on that, that on the word [of the Bible], that it does speak of that. I do know I have no place to judge anybody. I know that at the end of time we all face the judge and his name is not going to be Mandisa, so I cannot place any judgment on anyone.

Would you be comfortable performing or singing at a gay event?
I would not, no.

Would it conflict with your religious beliefs?
Based on what I believe, I'm not an advocate for [being gay], so it's nothing I would take part in.

Do you think that feeling contributed—along with your Web site profile—to some people not voting for you?
It's possible. Honestly, I'm not sure. I've heard a lot of different theories about what could have happened, and all of 'em sound pretty decent to me. So I just know I did my best and I tried to live my life in public the way I do in my personal life. You know, it was just my time and it could have contributed.

Would you change anything if you had the choice?
I wouldn't. I don't have any regrets. It's been an amazing ride for me. I have enjoyed every second, every minute of it. So I am not looking back on it. I enjoyed myself so much, I wouldn't want to change a thing.

Before you sang the Mary, Mary gospel song “Wanna Praise You,” you mentioned that people's various addictions and lifestyles are not as strong as God. Were you speaking of gay people?
No, no. That song was a very personal testimony for me. I've been dealing with an addiction to food for most of my life. I've been living in a lifestyle of pure indulgence, giving in to every single desire that I've had as far as what I've put into my body. So when I was speaking that, I was strictly speaking of how the Lord has helped me to overcome my personal struggle and I was just saying if God can do it for me—and a lot of other people face many different things out there—I was trying to be a testimony that he can do it for anybody.

Do you think gay people can turn straight?
I don't really know. I honestly don't know much about it. I wouldn't be very knowledgeable to speak on that subject.

What are your future plans?
Not sure. There's a lot of possibilities that have opened up for me. So I'm just looking forward to seeing what is next and can't wait to see what's in store.

Thank you, Mandisa. Good luck.
Thank you.