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#TBT: Halloween Exhibitionism

#TBT: Halloween Exhibitionism

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You know how we feel about naked Santas ruining childhood dreams. Must you make Halloween slutty too? Here are some examples from the recent past.

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Remember when you were little? You dressed up for Halloween, and maybe your grade school even had a special day with games and treats. There were some standard choices: witch, ghost, cowboy, or bride, and hobo. Except for dressing up in a mockery of the homeless, it was all so innocent. It was for the children.

Now, especially in balmy cities like West Hollywood, the gays have turned a charming tradition into an annual strip show of degradation. Less is more, apparently, with the very adult crowd that gathers on Santa Monica Boulevard and other events. Yes, some of them raise needed money for charities, but, mercy me, we have come a long way from a niced boxed gypsy outfit from College Costumes.

We want you to fully understand our dismay, so below some examples of Halloween exhibitionism. And it's not just the LGBTs any more -- the straight crowd has caught the need-to-be-nearly-nude fever as well!

01_halloween-muscle_0

Bert Lahr and Jack Haley have sure hit the gym. From last year's aptly named Halloweenie event.

02_halloween-muscle_0 History, worldview, and cultural identity are all transformed with the addition of abs. Thank goodness Miguel Angel Reyes is recording all this.

03_halloween-muscle_0 Angels and demon.

04_halloween-muscle_0 Miners will be served.

05_halloween-muscle_0 Hello Dirty Kitty. Thanks to Bloody Eyeballs at Flickr for this.

06_halloween-muscle_0 Yes, you are quite attractive, but are these really costumes?

07_halloween-muscle_0 Pussycat Dolls go to Halloweenie.

08_halloween-muscle_0 Vampires that come with their own floss for filthy fangs. Thanks to Bloody Eyeballs at Flickr for this.

09_halloween-muscle_0 The witch, ghost, and hobo have been replaced with Versace slave boys. From last year's Halloweenie event.

10_halloween-muscle_0 Have those shot glasses been thoroughly washed? And did you do it with your tongue?


11_halloween-muscle_0 Even the adorable Darryl Stephens can't help but expose his man-chests to common strangers at Halloweenie.

12_halloween-muscle_0 Just look the other way and keep walking. Don't encourage them.

13_halloween-muscle_0 So let me get this straight -- Alfred's into leather? Is that what you're saying? Thanks to Calvin Fleming at Flickr for this.

14_halloween-muscle_0 From Blue Man Grope, a new Vegas act. Thank you, Miguel Angel Reyes, for documenting this bit of showbiz pulchritude.

15_halloween-muscle_0 I'm feeling feverish. You may have to continue on your own way. I am just going to put my head between my knees for a bit. I may need a Snickers bar or something.

16_halloween-muscle_0 Fratboy/red cup/unicorn/disco/gypsy.

17_halloween-muscle_0I suspect there are less-than-adequate foundation garments employed here.

18_halloween-muscle_0 Now see? These handsome young men -- including Chris Evans's brother Scott Evans, second from right -- created tasteful outfits that do not employ glittery nipples or unsupported genitals as a main focus point. I would allow my son to date any of these fine gentlemen attending Halloweenie last year.

19_halloween-muscle_0 One can only imagine the hours these young athletes spent delicately sponging each other with body makeup as they enjoyed cocktails and some Beyonce music on the hi-fi. Remember to get every nook and cranny!

20_halloween-muscle_0 Those pesky vampires. First they suck all your blood, then they take your belt.

21_halloween-muscle_0 We have no idea what this costume is but cannot stop staring at his undraped pockets.

22_halloween-muscle_0 That's right, Mr. Chicken. There is a certain amount of holiday nudity we just have to say cluck, cluck, cluck to.

23_halloween-muscle_0 Goldilocks shows off the benefits of a strict porridge diet.

24_halloween-muscle_0 See? Even young straight men have been dragged down into the slutty gutter by the gay conversion of Halloween into a lurid spectacle. If you see more exhibitionistic nudity at Halloween this year, please send your images here for us to review.

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Christopher Harrity

Christopher Harrity is the Manager of Online Production for Here Media, parent company to The Advocate and Out. He enjoys assembling online features on artists and photographers, and you can often find him poring over the mouldering archives of the magazines.
Christopher Harrity is the Manager of Online Production for Here Media, parent company to The Advocate and Out. He enjoys assembling online features on artists and photographers, and you can often find him poring over the mouldering archives of the magazines.