The Reality of Love  | First Person | Advocate.com

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The Reality of Love
Transsexual actress Calpernia Addams discusses her experience on the reality dating series Transamerican Love Story, and how she allowed herself to step away from being the spokeswoman for trans people and decided to just have a little fun.
An Advocate.com exclusive posted April 30, 2008
The Reality of Love

Last year I decided to definitively remove my self-imposed limitations and start bringing the “real me” back into the work I do. So when I received a phone call while walking in the bright spring sunshine and was given the opportunity to develop a groundbreaking show based on the reality dating concept, I put aside fears about “what will the community think?” and went ahead, knowing that with my best friend, Andrea, the production company World of Wonder, and the Logo network, we could make something really cool. And just as my short film Casting Pearls allowed me to show my actress side, I thought a campy dating show could be the perfect way to show everyone that I was ready to publicly move forward from 10 years of mourning the loss of my boyfriend (as depicted in the film Soldier's Girl) with a smile and as much grace as I could muster. I wanted to be fun again and to take more risks as an entertainer.

My show, Transamerican Love Story, followed the competitive dating show conventions, with a firm wink and nod toward the genre. The men engaged in amusing contests to win a private date with me before a nightly elimination ceremony. The obvious differences being that I am an out transsexual woman, and a transsexual man, Jim Howley, was among the contestants. We also took breaks from the obligatory reality TV scenarios -- like harem dancing and Speedo-clad workouts -- to sit down and talk about what it was like for transsexual women dating in the hetero world and what it was like for the men who date us. We really wanted to stand out from most other reality shows by simply respecting everyone's humanity. I'm proud that even without the standard drunken slap fights or gratuitous hot-tub three-way make-out sessions, we managed to capture a big audience and walk away with our dignity intact.

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