Issue Number 1012 | Dick O'Clock | Advocate.com Dick O'Clock  |  | Advocate.com

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Dick O'Clock
When out at the bars, Margaret Cho is every gay man’s best friend—that is, until last call.
From The Advocate  August 12, 2008
Dick O'Clock

I am a big fan of going to gay bars. After a long, hard night walking all over a big stage in my new show, Beautiful, I need to be able to watch a good drag queen lip-synch perfectly to “Piece of Me” and have a very large and very strong drink, so my favorite place to go is the local gay bar with my most special gays.

Most fag hags agree that the best times they’ve ever had were at gay bars, sharing precious moments with their fags, drinking lovely pink cocktails and dancing and laughing the night away.

Until it becomes “dick o’clock.” You know what time that is, don’t you? It is when all the gay men in the club simultaneously start looking for dick. It happens all at once, usually around midnight or 1 a.m., generally earlier on the West Coast.

I am not sure how it starts. It may be that sudden realization that you are out on a weeknight, which a lot of gay men and fag hags like to do, because—let’s face it—weekends are for straight people. Since it is a weeknight, you probably need to get home and get in bed at some decent hour if you even want to pretend to try to keep your job.

So that means you need to get some dick, and get some dick fast, because procuring dick isn’t necessarily easy or quick—and we all know if we don’t pick carefully, we will wind up with dick we don’t want. Which isn’t always that bad, because dick is like pizza—even when it’s bad, it is still kind of good, unless it’s soggy.  

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Reader Comments

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  • Name: Raymond
    Date posted: 2008-07-28 11:42 PM
    Hometown: Atlanta

    Comment:

    OMG, this was hilarious!!!


  • Name: Ron
    Date posted: 2008-07-10 6:33 PM
    Hometown: Orlando

    Comment:

    OMG! LMAO how funny I'm sending this to my friend. :)


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