Marriage Equality Begins in California  | News | Advocate.com

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June 17, 2008
Marriage Equality Begins in California

More than 55 years after they first met, longtime partners and human rights activists Del Martin, 87, and Phyllis Lyon, 83, at 5:01 Monday night became the first same-sex couple to be married in San Francisco. The women's nuptials kicked off what is expected to be a crush of weddings on Tuesday -- following a California supreme court ruling last month that legalized gay marriage.

Phyllis Lyon Del Martin get married (Getty x395) | Advocate.comL

Martin and Lyon were wedded in a private ceremony in the office of San Francisco mayor Gavin Newson. Debra Chasnoff, executive director of GroundSpark (formerly Women's Educational Media), was among the guests invited to witness the historic moment. As the couple took their vows, Chasnoff said it was "momentous," to stand shoulder to shoulder with gay icons such as Roberta Achtenberg, Donna Hitchens, Nancy Davis, Margie Adam, and Mark Leno.

Chasnoff had witnessed the couple's first ceremony in 2004. "The first one felt more emotional. It was such an act of courage of Mayor Newsom," she said. "This time I felt more confident that it won't be taken away. This time it really felt like history was being made."

Outside the mayor's office, the mood was both celebratory and anxious as throngs of media and well-wishers stood crammed in the rotunda, waiting for San Francisco's first gay couple to come out. Sophie, 14, and her 10-year-old sister Naomi were among the supporters. "We’re just so excited to be here," said Sophie, who was there with her father and two friends. Though her parents aren't gay, she said, she and her sister just "wanted to support what was going on."  

Moments later the crowd cheered as Lyon emerged from the office pushing Martin in her wheelchair. "When we first got together, we weren't thinking about getting married," Lyon joked before thanking Newsom, who had presided over the ceremony.

"Marriage as an institution has been strengthened today," Newsom said, as well-wishers showered red and white rose petals on Martin and Lyon. "This is the first day we are providing marriage -- fully and fairly -- to everyone."

Lyon and Martin cut the first piece of cake, designed by San Francisco pastry chef Elizabeth Falkner, before handing over the knife to Kate Kendell of the National Center for Lesbian Rights. "Everyone understands history has been made -- history of the most profound kind," said Kendell. "A vision of inclusion and equality has been realized."

Nearly 400 miles south in Beverly Hills, Robin Tyler and Diane Olson made similar history on the steps of the court house when, at 5:01, the couple became the first same-sex couple to say "I do" in Los Angeles County.

Tyler literally said "I do," while her partner of 15 years ad-libbed, "Absolutely! I adore her." And with that, the betrothed couple's family, friends, and supporters whooped, hollered, and applauded.

"I knew our day would come," Olson said, following the ceremony officiated by Rabbi Denise Eger of West Hollywood's Kol Ami Synagogue. "I am a married woman."

Tyler, 66, and Olson, 54, returned to the Beverly Hills Courthouse, which Tyler has called "ground zero in the fight for same-sex marriage" and where the couple has unsuccessfully tried to obtain a marriage license every Valentine's Day for the past eight years.

When acting Los Angeles County registrar-recorder and county clerk Dean Logan announced Thursday that he would issue an early marriage license to Tyler and Olson, the couple dove right in to planning their nuptials.

"We're getting kind of giddy," Tyler said Saturday, as she and Olson juggled wedding plans and questions from the media. "We don't need the trappings. We need the legal rights," continued Tyler about her historic wedding. "We have a great relationship but, need marriage or not, we want it. We're making these typical wedding decisions and we're having fun."

Tyler and Olson were plaintiffs on one of the lawsuits that led to the recent overturn in favor gay marriage. Their lawyer, same-sex marriage advocate Gloria Allred, held Tyler's and Olson's rings for them beside the huppah, propped up by the couple's close friends and members of the LGBT community.

"It's a pleasure to be a part of the wedding," said Allred. "We fought for four years to win, and it's an honor and a privilege to give them the rings."

ROBIN TYLER DIANNE OLDSEN MARRIED (JENN KENNEDY) X395 | ADVOCATE.COM
Gloria Allred, left, with newlyweds Tyler and Olson

On the steps of the courthouse, flanked by loved ones, the media, and a handful of naysayers -- whose protests drowned under a sea of enthusiastic support from the crowd -- Tyler and Olson, dressed in complimentary cream-colored outfits, held one another closely throughout the ceremony.

"I'm elated and thrilled for Robin and Diane," Rabbi Eger said following the nuptials. "You could feel the history, and I could feel the justice today."

A longtime activist for gay rights and same-sex marriage, it's fitting that Tyler, who has been on the front lines of the battle for gay marriage since the 1970s, paved the way to marriage equality on Monday with Olson.

For Olson, the wedding wasn't an end to a long battle for marriage equality but the beginning of something even more powerful. "I think this town -- the state -- is going to light up," she said. "You can't fight love." (Sue Rochman in San Francisco and Tracy Gilchrist in Los Angeles, The Advocate)

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Reader Comments

These comments are reproduced as written by visitors to this Web site. They have not been edited for content, grammar, or spelling. The viewpoints appearing here are those of the writer, and do not necessarily reflect the opinion or views of advocate.com, The Advocate, or its affiliates.

  • Name: SLC Guys
    Date posted: 2008-06-17 2:08 PM
    Hometown: Salt Lake City

    Comment:

    What a history making moment for our country and for the gay community itself! Congrats to everyone tying the knot in the near future in California! All the best from Utah!


  • Name: barb
    Date posted: 2008-06-17 10:31 AM
    Hometown: seaside

    Comment:

    Elation! Celebration! Joy! Congratulations to those who were married yesterday. The first couples in San Francisco and in Los Angeles deserve their very special honor and recognition. We are thrilled to see the beautiful love and commitment being shared between people who deserve the same protections, rights and responsibilities of civil marriage as anyone else. And Daniel, your shame is your own. Go to some religious site and share with YOUR people; you have no place here today. Oh the joy is spreading all over California today, tomorrow, the next day ... and on and on. Civil rights indeed prevail and there is jubilation in the streets! Hurrah and best wishes to all the new MARRIED couples!


  • Name: barb
    Date posted: 2008-06-17 10:26 AM
    Hometown: seaside

    Comment:

    Elation! Celebration! Joy! Congratulations to those who were married yesterday. The first couples in San Francisco and in Los Angeles deserve their very special honor and recognition. We are thrilled to see the beautiful love and commitment being shared between people who deserve the same protections, rights and responsibilities of civil marriage as anyone else. And Daniel, your shame is your own. Go to some religious site and share with YOUR people; you have no place here today. Oh the joy is spreading all over California today, tomorrow, the next day ... and on and on. Civil rights indeed prevail and there is jubilation in the streets! Hurrah and best wishes to all the new MARRIED couples!


  • Name: Ron
    Date posted: 2008-06-17 9:14 AM
    Hometown: Garland, TX

    Comment:

    Daniel, I think you better look at people in your own flock e.g. Ted Haggard, Larry Craig, and most recently Joe Barron who was one of the ministers at Prestonwood Baptist in Dallas who was busted for online solicitation of a 13 year old girl. These are shameful moments in the history of creation! I used to be a part of your warped evangelical fold and took your advice to get counseling. I got the hell out of your little dogmatic groups and found a church that accepts me for who I am. My partner and I have been happily together for 10 years now which is more than I can say for some born-again straight couples!!


  • Name: Trisha
    Date posted: 2008-06-17 8:59 AM
    Hometown: port st. lucie

    Comment:

    BEAUTIFULLY EXPRESSED, CHUCK!! WHAT A WONDERFUL DAY IN HISTORY!


  • Name: Chuck
    Date posted: 2008-06-17 5:19 AM
    Hometown: Arlington

    Comment:

    Times are changing. There was a time when women could not vote. There was a time when people of color did not have equal rights. This is also change for the better. One day the world will look back on gay marriage and agree that this should have happened a long time ago. Now all Americans have equal rights. This is what our country is about. Free at last! Free at last! Thank God almighty, we are free at last!


  • Name: Hal
    Date posted: 2008-06-17 5:14 AM
    Hometown: Palo Alto, CA

    Comment:

    No, Daniel, this is not the most shameful moment in the entire history of creation. I'm amazed at how people can say such things without providing any justification whatsoever. My traditional family is not threatened; we're just fine. My kids are no more confused today than they were yesterday. Large numbers of people aren't suddenly filing for divorce. There are no gay recruitment teams roaming the streets, forcing straight people to marry someone of the same sex. It's just a normal day in California, except that we did manage to get a little bit closer to being able to treat all of our brothers and sisters with love and respect.


  • Name: Rick
    Date posted: 2008-06-17 2:40 AM
    Hometown: Winston-Salem, NC

    Comment:

    This is wonderful news. It's so great to see these two women celebrate their love, loyalty, and commitment in a marriage ceremony. Congratulations to both of them and to all the couples who tie the knot in California this summer.


  • Name: Cindy
    Date posted: 2008-06-17 2:33 AM
    Hometown: Rancho Cucamonga

    Comment:

    We are normal. Psychological counsel for what? There is nothing wrong with us mentally.


  • Name: Daniel
    Date posted: 2008-06-17 2:12 AM
    Hometown: Phoenix

    Comment:

    This is the most shameful moment in the entire history of creation.God alone can change these communities.You guys should understand,you got some gene mutation and need psychological and spiritual conselling.Apart from all these Jesus loves you still.Guys get on to the normal life.Your on the wrong track.It;s no good.


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