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March 18, 2008
Larry King
Joe Vitale

In my experience, grammar school seemed to be the breeding ground for those boys that found pleasure to taunt and bully others. Being overweight, shy, and not popular I was already a setup for the mocking. It felt worse when these prepubescent boys threw in the word faggot. At the time they didn't know anymore than I did what the word even meant. Of course it was heard from their friends, family or from TV. The word itself gave the worse gut wrenching feeling; it's true, words do hurt deeply, worse than the shoving or hitting. I was always close to my family, my mother in particular as my father had passed away when I was 13. Those that bullied me, that I remember had parents that encouraged fighting and thought that a boy should be a "man" -- for lack of a better word I'm sure. Not until I entered high school did things change, I lost weight, and forced myself to be outgoing. I was able to become somewhat popular with the few friends that I acquired in my first few months. I was among hundreds of new strangers. Though always gay, never knowing it or at least admitting it; I was able hide it from myself and everyone around me.

Recent events tell a tragic story of a young boy that had the courage to come out to everyone around him and this was the courage I didn't have at his age. The same way the hurt affected me as a child is how I felt when I picked up the paper and read an article about a gay 15 year old boy who was shot in the head twice by a fellow student who had bullied him, not only was I saddened and angry but I wondered why. Why would something so disastrous be allowed to happen? The newspaper article stated that "Lawrence (Larry) King is described as a sweet kid who loved art, music, and animals. During one holiday season, he helped his mother crochet hundreds of scarves for U.S. soldiers in Afghanistan." Another article describes him as "a sweet, confident kid who was just starting to embrace his identity." Larry had been removed from his adopted parents (Gregory and Dawn King) home at some point in the past six months and placed in Casa Pacifica in Camarillo, Calif., a home for foster, neglected and abused children. Due to privacy laws the reasons for his removal are not disclosed. He rarely spoke about his family and would appear uncomfortable when others talked about theirs.

In this tragedy, the executioner, 14 year old Brandon McInerney, is being charged as an adult for premeditated murder with a hate crime allegation. He could face up to life in prison. There are reported articles that his father and mother were involved in excessive drug use and accused each other of drug addiction. The two were known for violent arguments, one of which ended when his father shot his mother in the arm. Brandon has been described by some people as extremely charming, and an aggressive bully. None of the articles that I read really stated what their relationships were like with their parents. We know that for some reason Larry was taken from his adopted home, this was shortly after he came out to everyone. But it does describe a heartwarming moment shared with him and his mother crocheting scarves. As for Brandon, I had read various articles and all were given the same description of his parents. It would seem that his family might have been rejecting due to their behavior and he obviously had gotten his aggressive conduct from them.

Times have changed drastically in the almost 30 years since I was bullied. Unlike the fist fight in the parking lot after school, now kids are assaulting one another with guns and threatening murder. My biggest fear of being a gay parent, besides the fact that everything in the universe poses a threat: I have to worry, will my adopted child come home from school alive? I survived the bully and so did other close friends that I know, it actually made us stronger. But making the victim stronger doesn't make it right for others to hurt anyone. Larry King will never know what the rest of his life could have been like; for that matter, the murderer will never know what his life could have been like either.