Queer Eye by Canadian Guys

Of all the wonderful things Canada has to offer -- Montreal, universal health care, Anne Murray -- what could be more charming than two cute, witty gay boys offering affectionate advice to those in need? Enter John Simpson and Chris Carter, hosts of Chris & John to the Rescue, a bubbly reality program currently seen on Canada's Out TV. The two come across as likable if unnervingly upbeat, the types that end every statement with an exclamation point! That relentless and bald-faced optimism may prove to be an asset when positioning themselves as life-changing fairy godmothers. Season 3 sees the boys coming to America, as they descend on the legendary gay resort destination of Provincetown, Mass., working their benevolent magic at this New England seaside getaway.

"Provincetown seemed like a great fit because it's this picturesque colonial village on Cape Cod with a very heavy gay presence," says Simpson. "And we love colonial villages in Cape Cod." Adds Carter, "There are a lot of people in P-Town who were in dire need of our unique services. I honestly think that if we didn't come to that town and help those people out that things would have gone downhill, fast. I'm talking John Carpenter's Escape From New York downhill. You'd be surprised about how effective our services can be."

The two twinks from up north (Simpson is 23, Carter, 22) met in the 1990s, when they were both studying drama and dance in Toronto. They quickly became best friends, and their simpatico comedy sensibility is evident in their on-screen chemistry. They tease and cajole their hapless rescue cases with a healthy dose of double entendre and the sort of guileless moxie that is the province of youth. Of the utmost importance is finding candidates willing to play along. "Choosing our 'rescue contributors,' as we like to call them, is a bit of a tricky process," explains Simpson. "People contact us, tell us what their problem is; we confer with one another and decide if it's the right thing to do. Sometimes we get a lot of obscure requests...for the record, just so everyone is clear, I am in a committed relationship, and Chris can't bend that way."

The dynamic duo sprinkle their magic pixie dust on a variety of rescue contributors in P-Town (a.k.a. Problemstown). Among them is "Deidre," a fag hag in need of a new fag. "She was looking for someone who would go to a Kathy Griffin show with her," the hosts explain, "who had a great sense of fashion, who could make a great sandwich and mix a great drink."

Next up were Tom and John, a gay married couple who utilized Simpson and Carter as baby-sitters for their pair of 5-year-old boys. "The first thing we tried was singing and dancing for them...that didn't work. We then tried to play dress-up...that didn't work either," Chris and John confess. And there was "John M.,'" an aspiring drag queen needing a total glamour makeover. "I found him his outfit," says Simpson, "and Chris wrote his song and did his choreography. But...we weren't really impressed with how each other did, and that sort of caused our first-ever on-camera fight."The results of the boys' handiwork were revealed during John's drag pageant debut, at the legendary P-Town night spot the Alibi.

Was it hard for this unambiguously gay duo to find willing participants south of the border? "People in America in general seem very scared of the term 'reality TV,'" explains Simpson, "thanks to any number of Fox shows. We had to be very careful about our wording so that people understood that we aren't like [the show] Big Brother and aren't going to pull out someone's worst enemy from around the corner at any given point in time. Other than that, most people and businesses [in P-Town] were just as supportive as they are here in Canada, perhaps even more so."

Stateside, the show's entire first two seasons will begin airing in January 2008 on Here TV. "This is our first foray into [what ostensibly can be called] reality TV...it is unlike any other piece of our programming," says Josh Rosenzweig, Here Networks' vice president, corporate communications. "We thought the show was fun and funny, and Chris and John are incredibly likable."

Makeovers, love connections, morale boosting -- all in a day's work for the self-described culture aficionados, and their summer adventures in P-Town proved especially gratifying for Chris and John. "We really did help out our five rescue candidates this season," Simpson asserts, "and they are better off in the world because of us."