Chef in Command

Stick-thin quipster Bethenny Frankel was the perpetual single gal on The Real Housewives of New York City, but now all that has changed. After hearing recent news that she may star in her own reality series, Skinny & the City, which will follow her plans to marry her fiance, Jason Hoppy, we decided to get the scoop. From behind the scenes of this month's Advocate cover story, the high-strung chef dishes on her new beau, "pet gays," and her planned threesome with Atlanta Housewife Kim Zolciak and Big Poppa.

Advocate.com: You usually have multiple projects. What are you up to now?
Bethenny Frankel: I've just launched the Skinnygirl Margarita. That's really exciting -- it's going in stores all over the country. I just finished my book tour for Naturally Thin, which was exhausting. I had no idea what it was like to write a book.

Tell us about the book.
It's called Naturally Thin: Unleash Your SkinnyGirl and Free Yourself From a Lifetime of Dieting. Or cross out the "Girl" and make it "Unleash Your SkinnyGay." It's like a toolbox. It's 10 rules, and some people need the screwdriver, some people need the hammer. "Taste everything, eat nothing" is the rule. If you're at a buffet or holiday party, you wanna have a little bit of everything. People's lives are not cookie cutter; diets are cookie cutter. The book is not cookie cutter, which is why it is changing people's lives. People are losing 50, 60, 70 pounds in their fourth or fifth months. It's about turning "food noise" into a "food voice." People have a terrible relationship with food, and it's something we have to deal with. I used to be 20 pounds heavier and completely obsessed with food, exercise, and dieting. I had a lot of food noise.

Are you seeing anyone?
Yes, I have a serious boyfriend, and I'm in love. It developed about eight months ago. NeNe came into town for a party I had for Naturally Thin, and she was going out to dinner with Andy Cohen, so she left me to babysit her two friends. I was newly single but needed to act cool and like I knew what was going on, so I took them to a fancy nightclub. I ended up meeting my boyfriend, Jason. Andy knows him, NeNe met him, and he'll be on the next season. It's fantastic. He's in pharmaceutical sales.

How are you doing with fellow Housewife Kelly Bensimon?
[Sarcastically] You know, we're in love. No, there's no doing with Kelly. The only time I ever spent with her in my life was what you saw on television in that eight-minute, unedited scene and a couple of other charming, warm, and fuzzy snippets. That's our relationship. There won't be any big make-up scenes. We're frenemies, like Paris and Nicole. We're gonna stage some mud-wrestling match so that I can at least make some cash of how much I hate her guts.

Are you following The Real Housewives of Atlanta?
What are you talking about? I want to move to Atlanta. I'm telling Jason we need to move there and be on the cast.

From talking to NeNe it seems the gays are much wilder in Atlanta than they are in New York City.
Isaw Sheree's hair guy, Lawrence, at the Bravo A-List Awards and he hadon massive platforms. You know what I think it is? Gays are in thecloset, so when they bust out they really bust out. There's nothing todo in Atlanta, so they gotta really bust out. You gotta wear the heels,you gotta wear the skintight pants, you gotta have a camel toe. Yougotta look like you're from Reno 911! or the Village People. There'snothing going on, so that's the entertainment. Here, just living in NewYork is entertaining.

You have a boyfriend, but more important, do you have a gay boyfriend?
No, I have a couple of gays. Gay boys bring a lot of drama.

More drama than the Housewives?
Well,I don't really hang out with the Housewives unless we're shooting. I'mnot a girlie girl, and gay guys are just as much work as women. Thevanity is more, the food noise is more, the drama is more, the fashionis more. I love the gays, but I don't have a pet gay on a leash oranything.

Why do gays love the Housewives?
I think the gayslove the Housewives because we're all trannies. Everybody is bigger.It's "Jill Zarrrrrrrron" or "Dahhhhhling" or "Who gonna check me, boo?"That's not normal. It's over the top and exaggerated. We're alltrannies.

What did you think of the first episode of The Real Housewives of Atlanta?
Idon't even know what happened in that episode besides the thing withSheree -- and "the crawl," of course. The whole tiff with Sheree and herparty planner was the shining moment in my life. I watched it seventimes and peed my pants every time. I don't get the drama of "pookie"and "whoop yo ass," but what was funnier was that [Anthony the partyplanner] said he was a top-level professional, in a suit and verycivilized, then suddenly he's like, "Yo mama's a bitch," and somebodycloses the door as if they'd just reached above a whisper. That's whyit was so funny. Oh, he just took a gun out and shot Sheree in adrive-by, and his colleagues just shut the door. Are you crazy? Howdoes that kind of drama go on with a party planner? It wasn't like shewas going to score crack.

The Real Housewives of New York City can't possibly top that.
Well,I'm gonna sleep with Big Poppa this season. I'm going to Atlanta andshagging Big Poppa, and then I'm gonna be on both casts. I'm going tohave a three-way with Big Poppa and Kim. Watch what happens!