Best Tweet Ever — Or, at Least, This Week

\u201cEvery high school kid in a wheelchair is under intense pressure to join the glee club.\u201d

— Jocelyn Plums (@Jocelyn Plums) 1323950390

\u201cIf I were a lesbian I'd tweet awesome shit like, "I'm GLAAD it's not raining men." then I'd score tons of pussy.\u201d

— Jenny Johnson (@Jenny Johnson) 1323807593

\u201cJust downloaded the new sequel to Angry Birds. It's called Angry Dykes and it involves rebuilding all those destroyed pig houses.\u201d

— \u2744\ufe0f\u2744\ufe0f\u2744\ufe0f (@\u2744\ufe0f\u2744\ufe0f\u2744\ufe0f) 1323704454

\u201cI cannot decide which is a more relevant issue to the gay community: vampirism or bullying.\u201d

— Guy Branum (@Guy Branum) 1323736219

\u201cYour Daily Astrology\n\nCANCER (June 21-July 22): Newt Gingrich will leave you on your deathbed for a younger Zodiac sign.\u201d

— Dick Rentals (@Dick Rentals) 1324008253