Q&A With @GayAtHomeDad

Happy Friday, everybody! This is my Q&A session from Twitter. Anyone can ask me a question, and I will select a few and answer them here. To submit a question, tweet me @GayAtHomeDad and use the hashtag #AskFrank. Think of me as your bitchy gay Dear Daddy.

Question 1 (from @bunnysc21):

Is it offensive for me to introduce my brother as my brother and not "my gay brother"?
Offensive? I'm lost. Is it a request of his to tell everyone his sexual orientation when you introduce him to people? As a gay man, I prefer the opposite. I think in 2014 we should be working on eliminating the qualifiers of things like "gay," "black," "Jewish," etc. There's no need to preface it unless you have a very specific reason to do so. As a general rule, I dislike the word "gay" as an adjective, so people shouldn't be referring to gay men as "my gay friend" or "my gay brother" or "my gay dad." Hopefully, soon language like this will be ancient history.


Question 2 (from @serg3jm):

What advice would you give to a young (23 years old) gay couple that is about to graduate and start professional careers?
First of all, AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW. Seriously, this is so cute to me. There's nothing that makes me happier than to hear things like this. I'm so glad you two are graduating college at the same time and about to get serious and enter the adult world. My advice is to not forget your age. That doesn't mean go out and party every night, but rather don't live like 30-year-olds. You have plenty of time to have fun while balancing your new careers. You will have to be there for each other in new ways, as your new jobs will bring new stresses to your relationship. As trite as it may sound, communication truly is everything, so make sure you talk your asses off to each other. Keep sex interesting, don't fall into a routine -- especially at a young age. Lastly, don't think about having kids for quite a while -- at least five years.


Question 3 (from @oxytocins):

Barbra or Cher?
Um, apples and oranges. I would want to party all night with Cher and get really shit-faced with her and have a pajama party at her place. Barbra? I just want her to sing me to sleep.


Question 4 (from @AlexisMonstr):

How did you come out?
Fortunately for me, my coming-out days were when the rave scene started. If you don't know much about it, it's basically the '90s version of hippies but with crazier drugs and much better clothing. It was a very easy, free scene, and a lot of other gay guys my age came out at the same time. In other words, it was really easy. I think I just started dating a guy and that was it. No formal announcements, no party, no dreaded talk with the parents. They asked me if I was gay one day (around 19 years old) and I first said "bisexual," and then about a week later I was like "just kidding, I'm gay."


Question 5 (from @USALOVER001):

Do you think a relationship with a 15-year age gap could work?
My dad was 37 when he met my then-21-year-old stepmom and they have been together ever since (almost 30 years now). So to answer you simply, I would say yes. In reality, the younger person really has to have some major maturity and be willing to relinquish some of the things that come with being younger. I've noticed that with gay guys in their 20s, you have two types -- those who are ready to accept that they are young adults and live their lives accordingly, and those who are still stuck in college party mode and spend their weekends drunk and stuck in a mediocre job with no desire to better themselves. Needless to say, you want to avoid the latter. Overall, I say age doesn't matter, but maturity is everything.


Question 6 (from @Mcfearless317):

Boxers or briefs?
Depends on what I'm wearing. I like to hang free with loose shorts and keep my shit tight with my skinny pants. As long as I don't have VPL (visible penis line), I'm content.


Question 7 (from @BradWalsh):

Why do gay men insist that the grating screeches of metal against bone in Frozen are in fact good songs?
Got me, dude. Fortunately, I have a boy who is more into Cars and Toy Story. I personally can't change the radio station fast enough when "Let It Go" comes on, and I literally ran out of Disney World when the big Frozen spectacular started and took over the park. I'm assuming their love for Frozen songs is a result of taking too many bad drugs.

FRANK LOWE is The Advocate's parenting writer. Follow Frank on Twitter @GayAtHomeDad and on Instagram at gayathomedad.