Can Trump Ruin My Marriage?

When Donald Trump announced a ban on transgender people serving in the military, it didn't just place active duty in jeopardy. Because the statement was so sudden and came without detailed policy plans, it also put some civilian federal employees who worked for the Department of Defense in limbo. One couple impacted was Lucky and Wolsey Bradley. Lucky writes the blog Accidentally Gay, about becoming a gay man when his spouse of more than two decades came out trans and began transitioning to male. Here he explains how politics disrupted Wolsey's gender-affirmation surgeries:

Even under the Obama administration, the Department of Defense had an explicit rider on health insurance that prevented any transgender medical services. I had to go through the state, and then had to file an Equal Employment Opportunity complaint with the Department of Defense for my husband's coverage. It evidently went up to the Pentagon and I was told I was the first civilian to file a complaint. I was fortunate, I was told, because Obama was fixing it in 2016. He did.

But then Trump made his announcement about transgender recruits and it started to look like Wolsey could lose coverage in 2018. My local office is incredibly supportive, but the president seems hell-bent on denying my husband medical services.

When we first heard about Trump's issues with transgender people, we started asking questions. We got some answers indicating that the potential ban would affect Department of Defense money being spent on any medical expenses for transgender services, and since our medical is paid out of the Department of Defense budget, it was very likely it would have impacted us the same as active-duty military. We didn't receive any official notice in writing that the change affects us, however other people did warn us that it probably would.

Our original plan was for Wolsey to not have the bottom surgery for a couple more years. The top surgery and some family crises had put us far enough in debt that we needed that time. However, with Mike Pence's history as governor and his stated beliefs, we immediately set to work in January 2017 to push for the surgery. With the help of our case manager for his transgender medical care, we were able to rush Wolsey through the system to get him through the wait lists faster because we work for the DOD, and everyone involved -- including the insurance company and the surgeon -- expected him to lose coverage. Wolsey was approved, and surgery was arranged and paid for.

The second surgery is necessary but is still in the third level of appeals. This means the federal government is still determining whether Wolsey will be covered for it or not. It angers me to have to go through this. The procedure itself is necessary, his gender identity isn't a "phase," and I resent that any person thinks they know better than the doctors and him. It makes me even angrier at the political shenanigans that go on because a small group of straight and mostly white males decide they know medicine better than the doctors and patients.

LUCKY BRADLEY (left with his trans spouse, Wolsey) is the author of the Accidentally Gayblog and is coauthoring a book based on his experiences.