An Open Letter to My LGBTQ Family This Holiday Season

To my LGBTQ family,

I know this holiday season may be a tough time of the year for you. I know it is for me.

Millions of Americans will travel home this holiday season, yet for many LGBTQ people going home, I know the reality is complicated and not always joyful. For some of you, traveling is out of the question, as I know many are still struggling to find support and acceptance from your family. And if you can go home, whether you should is often a hard question -- especially for LGBTQ people who are not out or who do not have support and acceptance from their own families and loved ones.

I think of the Black queer college student who got kicked out of their home after coming out; the trans woman who worries about being accepted after coming out as trans for the first time to her family; the non-binary person who must introduce their new pronouns at the dinner table; the gay immigrant steering through cultural and generational differences at a large family gathering; or the bisexual woman hoping to introduce her partner to the family for the first time.

I understand what it feels like to go home -- and not be present as your true and authentic selves. To put up several masks or simply hide away altogether. I understand that not all coming out experiences are positive nor are they linear experiences but for many, are rather an ongoing process. And I understand that not all LGBTQ people have supportive and welcoming homes to return to during the holiday season. I understand because I am in the same boat.

This holiday season, my message to you all is that -- you are loved, you are supported, and you are not alone.

One of the best things about being LGBTQ is that we often get to choose our family. Being with family could mean many things -- but ultimately, it should be spending time with people who love and affirm you for every aspect of who you are. Unconditionally.

Being with family doesn't always have to be with blood relatives -- because sometimes it won't be. Being with family is being able to present and live your true self without care or worry. Because in the end loving you should be effortless for those that care and accept you. Being with family is as simple as feeling comfortable and being yourself.

This holiday season, surround yourself with your chosen family -- whatever that may look like -- from your parents or siblings to your colleagues or friends.

I know I'm personally making that decision to choose the family that I spend time with for the holidays.

While I don't have a house to return to this holiday season, I know I still have a home. Home for me is defined by the community that embraces me for every aspect of who I am.

Home is more than just a place but it's about the people who take up the space. It's about the individuals that make it feel welcoming and safe. It's about the love that you feel when you're with them or when you see them.

I hope this holiday season you are able to surround yourself with the love that you all deserve.

Sending all my love and support,

Viet Tran

Viet Tran is a deputy press secretary at the Human Rights Campaign.