The Hulu documentary We Live Here: The Midwest offers an insightful glimpse into the lives of LGBTQ+ families in conservative areas of the United States. The experience of living as a queer person in the United States is not necessarily the same for someone in New York City or San Francisco as it is for an LGBTQ+ person in Nebraska or Kansas. The recent Hulu documentary We Live Here: The Midwest, from director and executive producer Melinda Maerker and executive producer David Clayton Miller, follows several LGBTQ+ families as they navigate being out in their midwestern states.
The Advocate spoke with three of the film’s couples, who spoke about their own experiences living proudly.
Navigating Love and Identity: Nia and Katie’s Story
One of the film’s most compelling narratives is that of Nia and Katie, a couple from Iowa whose relationship has profoundly changed since they started dating in high school before Nia, who is trans, transitioned.
“My deepest desire is to continue building this life with Nia,“ Katie said about her decision to embrace her partner’s gender identity. Their story is a testament to the power of love and resilience in the face of personal and societal challenges. It also touches upon the often tricky coexistence of LGBTQ+ identities and religious beliefs and reveals the couple’s struggle with and healing their experiences in faith.
We Live Here: The Midwest | Official Trailer | Huluwww.youtube.com
In discussing the dynamics of their relationship post-transition, Katie illuminates her self-discovery process: “It wasn’t just let’s find that person. It was this person is a safe space for me.”
Nia’s revelation about her gender identity and its impact on their family life is another significant element of their story.
“One of my big worries was the kids, how it affects their lives,” she told The Advocate. The couple has five children.
Katie and Nia say their children accepted Nia for who she is, calling her “Momo” and Katie “Mom.”
Nia’s concerns highlight a familiar story in transgender experiences, where the decision to come out is often weighed against potential familial and societal repercussions.
The couple also addresses the challenge of maintaining their religious faith in light of Nia’s transition. Katie, who preached in their church, recalls their struggle with their church community, noting that although they no longer felt like they belonged after coming out, “We never want to portray people as an enemy.”
The couple recently moved to the Baltimore area of Maryland, where they say they have found a sense of belonging.
“You just don’t realize that there’s this hum of stress all the time,” Nia said, noting a marked decrease in the couple’s sense of anxiety and stress.
Their story, as depicted in We Live Here: The Midwest, is not just a tale of a transitioning. It is a narrative rich with themes of love, acceptance, and the pursuit of authenticity. Nia and Katie’s experience is a beacon of hope and inspiration, demonstrating that true love can adapt and thrive, even in the face of life’s most profound changes.
Championing LGBTQ+ Inclusion in Education: Russell and Mark’s Perspective
Russell and Mark, a gay couple who are educators from Ohio, bring a unique perspective on LGBTQ+ representation in schools. Russell, addressing the state of LGBTQ+ content in education, notes the absence of explicit bans on such content in Ohio but acknowledges the challenges in achieving true inclusivity.
“We in Ohio haven’t really gotten to the point where there are necessarily bans on what can be taught,” Russell said.
Reflecting on his experience as a teacher, Russell speaks to the importance of being a supportive figure for LGBTQ+ students. He articulates, “I find it humbling...every time someone comes to share their experience and their truth with me.”
“I don’t think Russ and I even hide anything anymore,” as far as living as gay men publicly, Mark said. For people who struggle with seeing LGBTQ+ people living full lives, he added, “That’s on them.”
Their participation in the documentary has also brought about new reflections and revelations.
“It did kind of give me a little bit of a push,” Russell said. “I’m a little more apt to grab his hand when we’re walking somewhere.”
A Groundbreaking Transgender Love Story: Jennifer and Debb
From Minnesota, Jennifer and Debb’s story in We Live Here: The Midwest offers an intimate glimpse into the lives of a transgender couple navigating the complexities of identity, love, and acceptance.
Jennifer shares her coming out experiences, emphasizing its impact on her children. “It’s hard to know yourself when you don’t know the words,” Jennifer said, highlighting her and her family’s initial challenges in understanding her transition.
Debb adds a poignant layer to their story, recounting her integration into Jennifer’s family.
Over time, Jennifer’s adult children have welcomed Debb into their family with open arms, even as her children have rejected her.
”It’s been a huge blessing,” Debb said.
The couple’s relationship, as two transgender women, is particularly striking. Jennifer describes their bond: “It was so easy to love her. You come from a place where you’re not really welcome, and you meet somebody who loves you for you. It’s magical.”
Debb, reflecting on their relationship and the broader transgender experience, shared, “Being transgender isn’t the only thing about us.”
Toward the end of the interview, Jennifer encapsulated the documentary’s overarching theme – the pursuit of authenticity and the importance of living one’s truth.
“It’s about being true to yourself, no matter where you are,” Jennifer said.
