On the outskirts
of Bristol, England, there is a small soccer stadium
called Mangotsfield, a place so remote that most locals have
not heard of it. During a four-month period earlier
this year, this is where I spent my Sunday afternoons.
Huddled in layers of fleece and wool, I was there to
cheer on the Bristol Rovers, a top-ranked team in the
English Women's Premier League. I was the only
American in these crowds and, to my knowledge, the
only player's girlfriend.
My girlfriend, Meghann, was the Rovers'
goalkeeper. She played in the WUSA before it folded
and now, like many of her peers, bounces between
leagues and around the globe: an American league in the
summer and internationally the rest of the year,
everywhere from Japan to Italy. This explains why
Meghann moved to Bristol in the dead of winter. My
presence was explained simply by the fact that I am in love
with her.
Most Sundays--game days--I looked
like a die-hard Packers fan, so bundled in layers as
to appear genderless. During the week I spent more time than
usual doing laundry, stuffing our small washing machine full
of workout clothes. The machine spun around the clock
in the house we shared with four of Meghann's
teammates, and our living room decor was dominated by a
rotating display of soccer gear drying in front of the space heater.
As a kid I dreamed of being a professional
soccer player. I grew up playing soccer, football, and
basketball. During college I rowed crew and, like my
teammates, got chills when our coach explained that our
training was designed to take us deeper and deeper into
oxygen debt. But when I stopped rowing I lost my taste
for lactic acid. These days I sate my appetite for
competition in occasional road races and--although it
has surprised me to discover this--by being a fan.
Our time in Bristol could well have been the
role of a lifetime for me, especially when one
considers that our four housemates were evangelical
Christians. The arrangement had all the makings of a reality
show, except for the fact that the palpable judgments
and desires circulating among us were not discussed. I
was the only nonplayer in our house, a cross between a
frat house and a convent with handwritten Bible quotes
encouraging self-control taped to the walls. On Sunday
mornings Jesus rock was blared through the house as
everyone went about her particular pregame rituals.
At the games the regular fans knew that I was
with Meghann. It did not matter much; what mattered
most to them was the final score of the game.
But for me, there was also something deeply
moving about watching the public heroics of a body
that I know intimately, knowing the years of training
that made a move like that possible, knowing the inevitable
pains that will surface the next day. These are not secrets,
exactly, but they're a part of the story of
sports that we're not supposed to think about
as a game unfolds--part spectacle, part performance.
The keeper dives, and the shot gets saved, or it drops
into the back of the net, the fans sigh or groan on
cue, and the game goes on.