When I'm reborn,
I want to come back as the heroine of a Spanish comedy
like Reinas. Nobody has more fun than the characters
in a Spanish comedy, especially the women!
Spanish comedies
typically involve sex, dancing, crazy mixups,
ultramodern decor, sex changes, sex with inlaws and sexy,
outrageous fashions. It's not unusual for a character
to wake up and discover that her gigolo lover may be
her long-lost son, except it's really the gigolo's gay
roommate she gave up, so she can divorce her husband, run
off with the gigolo and send her gay son a postcard from
Morocco. !Viva Espana!
Reinas fits squarely in that colorful, naughty
Spanish comedy mode, with the gay sons front and
center this time out. Reinas tells the
fictional story of the first 10 gay couples to be legally
wed in Spain, in a spectacle broadcast live on TV.
Spain legalized
same-sex marriage while Reinas was in production
in 2005, which makes you wonder: Would it help America to
make Brokeback Mountain II: Cowboy Wedding . .
. ? It couldn't hurt to have the stars of
Reinas on our side. Reinas is Spanish for
"queens," referring to the gorgeous gay grooms of the film,
but even more so to their fabulous "queen" mothers.
There's no question who rules this queendom: The boys
are very pretty, but it's the women who command the
throne.
Take Magda, the
steely owner of a Madrid boutique hotel so edgy you could
cut yourself just looking at it. Magda's was the first hotel
in Spain to cater exclusively to lesbians and gay men,
years before her son Miguel came out, and now the
franchise is going global. Carmen Maura (a favorite
actress of Oscar-winning gay director Pedro Almodovar)
plays Magda as a delectably brittle ice queen,
vulnerable in love but almost always in control. Even
when her hotel's head chef goes on strike just days before
the wedding, Magda blows off steam by having angry sex with
said chef, labor strike and spouses at home be damned!
For a more sweet,
seductive but equally potent queenly sighting, gaze
upon heavenly diva Reyes (Marisa Paredes), mother and movie
star, as she descends the stairs in slow motion to the
tune of Peggy Lee's "Fever." Paredes, the star of
Almodovar's All About My Mother, may be 60
years old, but that doesn't stop Reyes from slinking
her way into the bed of her handsome younger gardener
(Lluis Homar of Almodovar's Bad
Education). Like mother, like son: Reyes's boy
Rafa (Rau;l Jimenez) is engaged to the gardener's
even-hunkier kid Jonas (Hugo Silva).
And on it goes.
The frisky queen mothers indulge themselves with
strangers on trains, their children's therapists, fellow
queen mamas and even one of the gay grooms himself the
night before the wedding. Same-sex marriage has opened
up a whole new world of sexual temptations for Spanish
comedies to explore.
As delicious as
the dames are, the guys are even hotter, although they're
less interesting when they open their mouths. Hotel heir
Miguel (Unax Ugalde) and his masseur fiance,
Oscar, (Daniel Hendler) make the sexiest pair, and
also the stiffest. Miguel looks like a golden trophy with
his chic, severe white-blonde hair and spa-smooth
copper skin. Oscar is Miguel's beastly beautiful
complement, a hairy god with hypnotic grey eyes.
Unfortunately, they fight like an old married couple through
most of the film, stopping only to have sex as an act
of defiance against Oscar's meddlesome -- and
adorable! -- mother, Ofelia (Betiana Blum). Oscar does
a fierce stage dance to "Unchain My Heart" at the
bachelor party, but otherwise, he and Miguel, along with
their fellow gay grooms, are just straight men for the
royal queen mums.
Europeans have
always gone to sunny Spain for fantasy vacations, and now
we can all enjoy a carefree Spanish fling with some of the
world's most fabulous leading ladies, right in the
comfort an air-conditioned local movie theater.
Reinas is the perfect virtual honeymoon for queer
moviegoers awaiting our own big gay wedding.