Ho, No, She Didn't

"I was raised until the tender age of 10 years old in a trailer park by the name of the Royal Village," says singer and comedian Wendy Ho. "The address was 7519 Dorr St., Lot 99, Toledo, Ohio. Look it up!" That ebullient, proudly trashy sensibility informs all of Ho's work, a growing catalog of raunchy, in-your-face songs with titles like "Fuck Me." (Sample lyrics: "You can nose-dive into my poon / But ya betta do it soon. / You can fuck me in Pakistan. / Blow my coochie up like tha Taliban)"

The curvy blond bombshell, a.k.a. "The Soulstress of Sass and Crass!" has become a popular fixture on New York City's performance and nightclub scene, enchanting eager and predominantly gay audiences with her big voice and toilet humor. Being a foul-mouthed comedian is nothing new, but Ho backs up her blue humor with a rich, powerful singing voice and undeniable depth of feeling. "I don't believe soul has a color; I've got more soul than a lotta black folks I know," explains Ho. There ain't no coffee in her cream; she's a white girl who absorbed and channeled the environment around her. "I was definitely influenced by being surrounded by white trash. The trailer park had no people of color. As a child I used to favor TV shows like 227,The Jeffersons, and Good Times, and I would pray for Sandra or J.J. Walker to come and rescue me from the heaps of white trash I was surrounded by. I finally met my first African-American friend in grade school, and her name was Tameko. She had a profound effect on me, especially musically. I went from listening to Madonna and Wham! to Bobby Brown, Anita Baker, and Chaka Khan overnight. When I first heard Chaka Khan's 'I Feel for You,' I thought my head was going to explode!"

Those R&B influences are evident on her first album, The Gospel According to Ho, a funky blend of soul, hip-hop and club music; all of it edgy and arguably obscene. The breakout track from the CD, 'Bitch I Stole Yo Purse,' was accompanied by a hilarious video, directed by Markus Kirschner. In the clip (which was in heavy rotation on Logo's NewNowNext), Ho portrays both a braid-wearing, neck-rolling gangsta bitch and a chic uptown gal with a thing for expensive handbags. The lyrics are simultaneously a slam on our status-obsessed culture ("Prada, Gucci, and Louis Vuitton / I shook the shit outcho purse and I left it on the lawn") and just downright nasty ("Eye on yo purse it reminds me of a cunt / Empty it out like that time of the mont").

"I was inspired whilst at a party," explains Ho, "and I saw some bitch's purse I really liked. I thought, 'You know if I really wanted to steal this, I could.' I didn't actually steal it, but I contemplated just taking the purse and leaving the insides behind. I didn't care about the wallet, the cell phone, the makeup ... just that bag!"

Ho writes the majority of her own material and lyrics, adding, 'Howevsies, I do have help along the way. Craig Levy helps me with most of the songs. I've also written material with other comics, performers, and crack heads." She is currently recording her second album, which has the working title Wendy Ho: Cuntageous. Says the saucy chanteuse: "A couple of the songs we're currently working on are 'I Can't Afford It ... I'm Gonna Have to Abort It' and 'Tampons Are for Pussies.' I don't know if either of these babies will make it to the actual album, but we'll see!"

Of course, nothing beats seeing this Ho perform live; she is relentlessly energetic and focused onstage, the ultimate good-time gal. And then there's her voice, a booming yet melodious mezzo-alto. Her one-woman show, The Gospel According to Ho, will be remounted at New York City's Ars Nova Theatre on August 26; Chelsea's Barracuda lounge will be the venue for Clown Syndrome, (debuting June 15th) an ongoing Sunday night comedy show she is coproducing and cohosting with rising gay funnyman Cole James. Music is the focus of her "Glory Ho Tuesdays" variety show at Vlada supper club in Manhattan's tres gay Hell's Kitchen.

Some may find Ho's act just too much to handle; too dirty, too brash, an explosive and possibly offensive cocktail of sexuality and race. Nothing is off-limits or taboo; she is currently working on a video for her track "The AIDS Gamble," a reimagining of the Kenny Rogers country classic "The Gambler." ("You got to know when to suck it / Know when to fuck it / Know when to walk away / Know when to run ... You never floss yo teef / When you bout to suck a big dick / Cuz you wake up in the monin / And you gonna have AIDS.") The diva is not shy in her response to those who just don't cotton to her brand of rough-edged musical comedy: "Get OVER IT. I'm just trynna have a good time and have a few laughs. If you don't think it's funny, then you got a choice ...c an't take the heat, get the hell out my kitchen! In the immortal words of the Divine Miss M..."FUCK 'EM IF THEY CAN'T TAKE A JOKE!"