Every morning,
Bob Lehman and Tom Felkner put on their wedding bands and
say "With this ring, I thee wed" to each other. It was their
way of cementing a bond that society wouldn't
recognize.
Shortly after 7
a.m. yesterday morning, they said it once again. And this
time, it finally counted.
Lehman and
Felkner were the first same-sex couple to be married in San
Diego, California's second-largest city. As the day went
along, hundreds of couples joined them in front of
gleeful crowds at the Golden State's courthouses, city
halls and government offices.
"Hey, everyone,
we're getting married!" yelled Jeffrey Halpern and
Hank Donat as they squeaked past the media to become the
first couple of the day to be wed at San Francisco
City Hall. The Los Angeles Times estimated that more
than 1,451 marriage licenses had been issued or were
in the works across the state as of 3 p.m. Tuesday,
triple the average number for a June day.
" 'With this
ring, I thee wed.' It's amazing how profound those words
are. They change lives," said San Francisco mayor Gavin
Newsom in an interview with The Advocate. The
thousands of newlyweds -- known as "party A" and
"party B" instead of "bride" and "groom" -- wore jeans
and silk ties, stunning dresses, Hawaiian shirts,
tuxedos, and pantsuits. After their ceremonies, they
departed -- a few with "Get Married" signs on their
motorcycles -- and planned for honeymoons, receptions, or
simple everyday chores.
"We're going home
to get our plumbing fixed," said Wendy Averill, who
married Marilee France in West Hollywood.
There were
glitches here and there as county clerks mixed up names and
stumbled over newly rewritten vows. (In San Diego, all that
business about kissing the bride is gone and the vows
now say, "You are now united in marriage. You may now
seal your vows with a kiss.")
Protesters
appeared in some cities, including one in San Diego who
yelled, "The Rosie O'Donnells of the world aren't right!" at
soon-to-be-married couples. But there apparently weren't any
major disruptions.
The most wedding
activity, naturally, came in large cities like San
Francisco, where a crowd of hundreds cheered whenever a
newly married couple -- gay or straight -- walked down
the City Hall steps. After offices closed at 6 p.m.,
San Diego County reported that it set a record for the
most marriage licenses awarded in one day -- 230. That beat
the previous record of 176 from Valentine's Day 2005.
But small towns took part in the celebrations too. In
the town of Laguna Hills in Orange County (pop.
33,225), clerks issued 121 licenses and performed 70
marriages on Tuesday. Laguna Woods residents Jeanne Sanner
and Laura Flynn were one of the couples to tie the
knot after being together for 30 years.
"It struck
me much harder in the ceremony that when we said 'I
Thee Wed'...'I Thee Wed' --
when I said those words, there was a reality to it
that I just wasn't expecting after 30 years, " Sanner
said. "I came all excited, but the message went much
deeper."
In Indio, a
desert town southeast of Palm Springs, the couples married
in makeshift chapels included Robert and Thomas Van
Etten, who wore T-shirts printed with, "Our
Love waited 40+ years for this day! 4/13/1968 -
6/17/2008."
Media coverage of
yesterday's marriages was extensive, indicating marked
interest in the same-sex marriage debate. In a poll on the
website of the Orange County Register, which
serves a conservative region of Southern California,
47% of the 2,706 people who responded to an online
survey by 5:30 p.m. supported same-sex marriage. The
San Diego Union-Tribune's story about local
marriages attracted more than 670 comments, many of which
were negative.
Obviously,
there's no easy road ahead. "If you're in a relationship
where you have talked about marriage, don't delay --
make the decision now," advised West Hollywood mayor
Jeffrey Prang. "The more people, the more stories, the
more happy, loving couples who are simply pursuing the
American dream like anyone else will help tell the stories
of the community. It's nothing but an asset to the
cause."
(Randy Dotinga,
with additional reporting by Jon Barrett, Sue Rochman,
Anne Stockwell, Duane Wells, and Ross von Metzke, The
Advocate)
