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Back in 1991 the Internet was only for geeks and grad students. Ron Buckmire, who was studying applied mathematics at Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute in upstate New York, was both. When Buckmire visited Los Angeles that year, his welcoming committee included Dean Elzinga, who was studying mathematical logic at the University of California, Los Angeles.
Married: August 8, 2008 Together: 17 years
Back in 1991 the Internet was only for geeks and grad students. Ron Buckmire, who was studying applied mathematics at Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute in upstate New York, was both. When Buckmire visited Los Angeles that year, his welcoming committee included Dean Elzinga, who was studying mathematical logic at the University of California, Los Angeles.
"We were one of the initial Internet couples," Buckmire says, remembering the long-distance calls and student airfares of their early romance. "We were just so comfortable together," Elzinga says.
When Buckmire graduated in 1994, he moved west for good. Now the two share a home in the Los Angeles suburb of Montecito Heights. Buckmire heads the math department at Occidental College and pursues his other longtime passion -- the battle for LGBT civil rights. (You can thank Buckmire for compiling one of the first online archives of LGBT information back in 1991.) These days he heads the Center for Health Justice as well as the Barbara Jordan/Bayard Rustin Coalition, serving gay people of color, and blogs on politics under his online alias, "the mad professah."
Today, Elzinga makes his living as an opera singer. "I knew nothing about opera when we met," Buckmire says. "I was into divas -- like Mariah Carey." Elzinga has changed all that. His rich bass-baritone voice captivates even on the phone.
They didn't want to have something called a wedding. "That brought to mind too many pictures of virgin brides," Elzinga says. They exchanged vows before a small gathering in their backyard on August 8. Elzinga, who was raised Mormon, was touched that his father and brother chose to be there. Buckmire recounts how his born-again Christian Grenadian mom called to wish him happiness, even if she couldn't fully understand the marriage.
Now that they've made it legal, the clarity of their relationship has changed. "Before, there were all these messy approximations," Elzinga says. "How you described the person in your life would involve quotes, like 'my husband.' It's such a relief to take the quotes off."
