I circle the cage
once, then twice, before finally realizing that I'm
an adult. I can just ask someone to unlock it.
"Excuse me, um, Krylon, please."
And without
batting an eye, the mild-mannered guy wearing an apron
inserts a key, opens the door, and hands me a can of Krylon
"True Blue" spray paint. Being an adult
rocks! When you're an adult you can do anything
you want. You have a car and a wallet full of $1 bills;
you're smarter than dumb kids, and no one
assumes you're up to no good. This last point comes in
handy in my case, because tonight I'm launching my
one-woman protest against Arizona's "Yes! on 102"
campaign, which tells us marriage is a union between
one man and one union.
"If you
get caught you can be arrested," my girlfriend says
when I tell her my idea to alter the "Yes on
102" signs with spray paint.
"Really?" I ask.
"You're an adult. You can go to
prison."
"Prison?
How about jail first?"
"Behind
bars. Does it matter whose bars? Speaking of bars, could you
pick up some protein bars for me? Oh, wait,
you'll be in prison; I'll get them
myself."
What happened to
the good old days? You know, the '80s, when Keith
Haring made a living spray-painting illegally. When
you could crank-call the teacher who gave you an F in
P.E. without your name popping up on his caller I.D.
When the worst thing that could happen as you toilet-papered
your enemy's house was that his dad --who had served
in 'Nam and suffered from something called PTSD --
would run out of the house waving a gun and screaming
"Foxhole!" When marriage was between one
miserable man and one miserable woman (my parents).
When Cagney and Lacey never would have arrested a
lesbian activist -- at least not without frisking her first.
But it's
2008 -- 8:30 P.M. on October 8, to be exact -- and the
Arizona sun has just set. My girlfriend is behind the
wheel of the getaway car and I'm shaking the
can of spray paint, the sweet sound of civil
disobedience. We spot a sign, and though it's located
at a major intersection, it feels like the right one
to start with. We cut the engine, then the lights, and
coast the car to the edge of a nearby dirt lot. My
girlfriend whispers "Hurry up!" and motions
for me to get out.
I'm
wearing a light-blue polo shirt, brown corduroy pants, and
sneakers that resemble bowling shoes. As I shake the
can and head toward the sign, I realize I must look
like an angry pro golfer who got kicked off the
tour, so I pull my collar up to complete the look. Just
think how the cops would describe me when they call in
the all-points bulletin: "Lesbian golfer in the
Phoenix metropolitan area. Short, spiky hair; argyle
sweater vest. No, this isn't a joke!"
The sign is
bigger than I imagined.
YES!
102
MARRIAGE IS
BETWEEN ONE MAN AND ONE WOMAN.
Because the text
is justified to the left, I have a fair amount of space
on the right to add my slogan. I start spraying. The
exclamation point quickly becomes a T before I add the
other letters: O H A T. When I finish, the sign reads
"Yes to HATE!" My heart is beating fast, like
the one time I did cocaine at a Boston queer bar that
was named after a Frenchman. I am untouchable,
unstoppable, under the influence of activism and toxic
fumes, retracing the letters with spray paint over and over
again, so people will really see them when they drive by in
the morning. I am fueled by adrenaline. Suddenly I
understand why teenagers tag, why yahoos own guns, and
why the road is filled with rage. When the nozzle
begins to spit the last sprays of paint I run back to the
getaway car, giggling and exhilarated.
"DUDE, I
rock! Gays rock! Love rocks!" I say to my girlfriend.
"Do cops
rock?" she asks, turning the key hurriedly.
"Sometimes."
"Well,
there's one now -- let's go!"
And with that we
tear out of the dirt lot, away from the scene of a crime
totally worth committing and into the quiet Arizona night.
While some groups
are more than happy to vote for hate, I am happy to
remind them -- with graffiti, if need be -- that we are all
entitled to a voice. And this reminder, according to
the can, will last for up to four months.