![Josephrochax390_0](https://www.advocate.com/media-library/josephrochax390-0.jpg?id=32722289&width=1200&height=876)
CONTACTStaffCAREER OPPORTUNITIESADVERTISE WITH USPRIVACY POLICYPRIVACY PREFERENCESTERMS OF USELEGAL NOTICE
© 2024 Pride Publishing Inc.
All Rights reserved
All Rights reserved
By continuing to use our site, you agree to our Private Policy and Terms of Use.
While the Pentagon surveys the spouses of military members about the "don't ask, don't tell" policy, Servicemembers Legal Defense Network is highlighting the perspectives of military family members affected by the discriminatory policy.
On August 20 some 150,000 spouses of military members began to receive the surveys asking them how they would feel if the policy were repealed. SLDN wants the Pentagon to hear from the family members of gay service members, too.
Today's letter is from Jose J. Rocha, father of former Petty Officer Third Class Joseph Rocha, USN.
August 24, 2010
Hon. Jeh C. Johnson
General Counsel, U.S. Department of Defense
Co-Chair, Comprehensive Review Working Group
General Carter F. Ham
Commanding General, U.S. Army Europe
Co-Chair, Comprehensive Review Working Group
Dear Mr. Johnson and General Ham:
I am a heavy machinery truck driver; I have been all of my life. A blue collar American who raised my son, Joseph Rocha, in a Roman Catholic home with strong Spanish values, after his mother lost custody for drug abuse. Throughout school Joseph turned out to be an awarded scholar, athlete and leader. I did my best to provide a good home for him. But, I wasn't prepared for my only boy to turn out gay.
Early on in his senior year, at 17, he left the house on one condition: that he never return.
I learned through my wife that he was excelling quickly in the military. He was promoted twice in his first year and was hand-picked for explosive detection school. We had no idea that during his 28 months in the Middle East, he was being abused by his superiors because he wouldn't tell them if he was gay or not. He only ever called home to tell my wife he loved working with the dogs and about his aspirations of becoming an officer.
He sent gifts to his kid siblings for every single holiday and called them religiously. He was a hero to my girls. I struggled through our silence knowing that I was missing out on my son. As it sank in that Joseph might be injured or killed in the service, it became clear how irrelevant who he wants to love is. On a phone call home to congratulate me for my birthday, I told my son for the first time that I was truly proud of him and asked him to live his life for himself, not for me or anyone else.
After receiving a Naval Marine Corps Achievement Medal for his service overseas and being accepted to Naval Academy Preparatory School to go on to the United States Naval Academy and earn a commission, Joseph was discharged under "Don't Ask, Don't Tell."
Recently, just after his mother's death, I asked him what he would be doing this year when he becomes the first in our family to graduate from college. I was surprised when he said that he wants to serve again. I asked him why he would go back after all they did to him. I asked him if he was prepared to go back to the Middle East. He replied that he was never meant to be done serving.
Joseph contributed to my family and to the families of each of his co-workers: loyalty, respect and service. My son had always lead by example and in coming out he has taught his siblings pride and his favorite value, integrity.
I am proud of my son and it makes me sick now to read the Navy documents detailing the abuse he stomached in order to try and save his career. He is a brave young man and a patriot. I know now first hand that the old ways are not always right and I ask that you encourage your superiors to end "Don't Ask, Don't Tell." Please allow my son, Joseph C. Rocha, and countless like him, to resume their military careers.
Sincerely,
Jose J. Rocha
CC: U.S. Sen. Carl M. Levin
Chairman, Senate Armed Services Committee
U.S. Sen. John S. McCain
Ranking Member, Senate Armed Services Committee
U.S. Sen. Joseph I. Lieberman
Member, Senate Armed Services Committee
Want more breaking equality news & trending entertainment stories?
Check out our NEW 24/7 streaming service: the Advocate Channel!
Download the Advocate Channel App for your mobile phone and your favorite streaming device!
From our Sponsors
Most Popular
Meet all 37 of the queer women in this season's WNBA
April 17 2024 11:24 AM
Here are the 15 gayest travel destinations in the world: report
March 26 2024 9:23 AM
After 20 years, and after tonight, Obama will no longer be the Democrats' top star
August 20 2024 12:28 PM
More Than 50 of Our Favorite LGBTQ+ Moms
May 12 2024 11:44 AM
Conjoined twins Lori Schappell and trans man George Schappell dead at 62
April 27 2024 6:13 PM
Latest Stories
LIVE: 2024 presidential election
August 19 2024 12:55 PM
Reproductive freedom
Harris discusses the war in Gaza
This is what fuels addiction in LGBTQ+ people, and what's available to help (exclusive)
August 31 2024 12:46 PM
Florida man who threatened judge over 'don't say gay' suit gets five-year sentence
August 31 2024 12:30 PM
From Pride to pain, addiction and overdose are silently killing us
August 31 2024 11:30 AM
The misogynistic motormouth of JD Vance is the gift that keeps on giving
August 30 2024 5:51 PM
Being Donald Trump’s niece drove Mary Trump to ketamine therapy
August 30 2024 4:19 PM
Census Bureau to test questions to better represent the LGBTQ+ community
August 30 2024 4:09 PM
Anti-LGBTQ+ vandalism kicks off Global Black Pride celebration in Atlanta
August 30 2024 4:02 PM
PLUS
Yahoo FeedIntroducing 'Health PLUS Wellness': The Latinx Issue!
August 30 2024 3:22 PM
JD Vance wants gay tech billionaire Peter Thiel to fund Trump-Vance campaign
August 30 2024 1:06 PM
17 impactful images of the Gender Liberation Movement's marches
August 30 2024 12:30 PM