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The Trevor Project recently released a helpful guide to gender identities and pronouns.
Today is International Pronouns Day, and there’s no better time to visit the Trevor Project’s recently released guide “Understanding Gender Identities and Pronouns.”
The guide offers information on the spectrum of gender identities and why it’s important to respect a person’s pronouns. That may sound like old news to many LGBTQ+ people and allies, but some are still learning, and everyone can benefit from a refresher.
“You may not realize it, but we use pronouns all the time,” the guide explains. “Quick grammar lesson: a pronoun is a word that is used instead of a noun. Pronouns can also be an important part of affirming and respecting a person’s gender identity. It’s important not to assume a person’s pronouns. He, she, or they could all refer to the same individual.”
It notes that the use of they/them pronouns, which many nonbinary people prefer, isn’t necessarily grammatically incorrect when referring to a single person. “In fact, you probably use they/them all the time,” the document says. “For example, if you found someone’s wallet on the ground, you probably wouldn’t say, ‘Someone lost his or her wallet!’ You would more likely say, ‘I need to find the person who lost their wallet.’ Side note: major authors like Shakespeare and Emily Dickinson often used ‘they/them’ in a singular way in their work.”
Some people, whether cisgender, transgender, or nonbinary, may use strictly he/him, she/her, or they/them, while others may use a combination of them. There are also those who prefer so-called neo-pronouns such as ze/zim/zer or ey/em.
The guide suggests several steps to take to assure you’re respecting another person’s pronouns. These include stating your pronouns when you introduce yourself; remembering others’ pronouns and using them correctly; apologizing if you misuse pronouns without making excuses; and, if someone uses multiple pronouns, using them equally unless they prefer one over the others.
“Pronouns are about affirming someone’s identity,” the document advises. “It’s about seeing people for who they are and meeting them wherever they are at.”
Proper pronoun use can also be lifesaving, says Zach Eisenstein (he/him), communications director at the Trevor Project, which assists young LGBTQ+ people in crisis. “While pronoun use has become increasingly politicized, it is important to underscore that simply respecting a person’s pronouns can have a powerful, positive impact on their mental health,” he tells The Advocate. “The Trevor Project’s research found that transgender and nonbinary young people who reported having their pronouns respected by all or most people in their lives attempted suicide at half the rate of those who did not have their pronouns respected.
“Like most aspects of language, pronoun use has evolved over time, and it will likely continue to do so. It’s natural to have questions or feel like you don’t understand everything there is to know about pronouns. That’s why many resources, including the Trevor Project’s ‘Understanding Gender Identities and Pronouns’ guide, exist to equip you with the knowledge you need to support the LGBTQ+ young people in your life. The most important thing is to respect people — especially young people — when they tell you who they are.”
International Pronouns Day was established in 2018 and takes place each year on the third Wednesday of October. “International Pronouns Day seeks to make respecting, sharing, and educating about personal pronouns commonplace,” notes the official website for the grassroots, collaborative effort, Pronouns.org. “Referring to people by the pronouns they determine for themselves is basic to human dignity. Being referred to by the wrong pronouns particularly affects transgender and gender-nonconforming people. Together, we can transform society to celebrate people’s multiple, intersecting identities.”
