Rev. Robert Cromey (left) and St. Aidans Episcopal Church, where he performed the San Francisco's first same-sex weddings held in a church
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Robert Cromey, an Episcopal priest and pre-Stonewall ally of the LGBTQ+ community, passed away on January 14 at an assisted living facility in San Francisco. Cromey defied the church by performing wedding ceremonies for same-sex couples in the 1960s and joined Dr. Martin Luther King on his march to Selma in 1963. Cromey was 93.
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“I was called a homosexual sympathizer in the early 1960s,” Cromey recalled in a blog post written in February of last year, “but ‘f*g priest’ was the only nickname I really loved.”
Reverend Jim Mitulski, the out gay pastor of the Congregational Church of the Peninsula, told the Bay Area Reporter Cromey was “unwavering in his commitment to gay causes,” unlike many clergy of the time, and noted his lasting influence on today’s church.
“He was far more outspoken than many gay clergy were willing to be,” Mitulski said. “He was very influential for me and other clergy in San Francisco. The Episcopal Church treated him at the time very badly. Now, they’re very pro-gay, but that’s because of what Robert did.”
Robert Warren Cromey was born in New York City on Feb. 16, 1931. As a teen, he attended St. Paul’s Episcopal School and earned an athletic scholarship to New York University. After graduating with a B.A. in English and philosophy in 1954, he attended General Theological Seminary. He was ordained as a priest and deacon two years later.
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Cromey was recruited by the progressive heterodox Bishop James Pike to serve in various ministries in San Francisco’s Mission District. In March of 1963, Cromey gave a sermon at Grace Cathedral stating that gays should be treated equally and welcomed into the church.
The sermon was not well received at the time.
“This was so radical that most people thought he was completely crazy,” his wife, Ann Cromey, told the San Francisco Chronicle. “That was the last time he was invited to preach at Grace Cathedral.”
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Cromey was quickly relegated to help found St. Aidan’s Episcopal in Diamond Heights. Rather than accept defeat, he began officiating same-sex weddings, the first held in a church within the city. When the church hierarchy forbade him from officiating weddings for same-sex couples, he simply invited other clergy to officiate the ceremonies while he watched.
Cromey later transferred to the Trinity Episcopal Church on Cathedral Hill in San Francisco. In his first sermon in 1981, he called for then-Secretary of Defense Caspar Weinberger to resign from the church over his views on the use of military force.
“I am a straight man and felt the LGBT rights movement was a justice issue not a sexual one,” Cromey wrote. “I was active in the civil rights activities for African Americans. The gay rights movement also was a justice issue for a persecuted minority.”
Cromey noted his activism was not limited to the fight for LGBTQ+ rights, but also defending the rights of all oppressed groups and worthwhile causes.
“I had spoken out in favor of the farm workers and Cesar Chavez. This offended rich Episcopalians who owned farms,” Cromey continued. “I defended nudity in North Beach bars, saying there are worse sins than toplessness, offending prudish church people. I wrote an article noting discrimination against blacks in private clubs and clergy spending church money to belong to such groups thus offending Episcopalians who were club members as well as trustees of the Cathedral and the Diocese. All of this was on top of marching in Selma and hobnobbing with homosexuals.”
His notoriety brought publicity, which he used to share the struggles of the LGBTQ+ community to a wider, and often hostile, audience. He performed funeral services for gay men who died from AIDS complications and was also arrested numerous times for his allegiance to the LGBTQ+ cause.
“I think my upward mobile ability in the church was hampered by my advocacy for all kinds of things,” he wrote. “I was criticized from time to time by the hierarchy, higher-ups, but I didn’t care. Being criticized meant I had a chance to respond, and if I was criticized publicly or in the media, it was an even bigger advantage because I could respond publicly.”
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