A trans woman and her mother open up about acceptance and learning with love in new Trevor Project video

Queer transgender youth Trey and her mother, Glorya, share how they came to a place of affirmation in the latest episode of the Trevor Project’s docuseries Learn With Love, released Thursday.

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“It’s been a journey in terms of my views on the LGBTQ+ community,” Glorya says. “I didn’t have, like, fear of them. They’re wonderful people. But I still had in my head, like, homosexuality itself is a sin. Obviously, I have learned and grown, and that is not where I am now.” She had known many LGBTQ+ people because of her involvement with foster care, as many of them are foster or adoptive parents. Her admiration for them while still believing their very identity was sinful created a clash for her, she says.

The family attended a conservative Christian church, and Trey initially thought she could “pray away” her feelings.

Trey, who is Glorya's firstborn, was “a fun kid,” her mother says, “very responsible and just a joy to be around.” But Trey was hiding something.

“I was very conflicted growing up because I knew I was queer,” Trey says in the episode. “But I never really had the lingo to describe that.” She also knew she was trans but didn’t feel she could come out until moving away for college at age 18.

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When Trey did come out, Glorya had some “unlearning” to do.

“Just because I was taught something didn’t actually mean that it was in fact true,” Glorya says. It’s important to acknowledge that you may have been wrong about some things, she says.

Glorya explains that she's worried about all the anti-trans legislation being proposed and often passed throughout the nation. She is aware of the high suicide risk among LGBTQ+ youth, but it’s not because of who they are — it’s because of how they’re treated, she points out, adding that churches need to hear this.

Happily, Trey’s mental health is good, Glorya says.

“The good thing is that I have come full circle, and now I am an advocate to the church, to women, to the Black community,” Glorya says. She wishes that she knew, before Trey came out, that it was OK to affirm a trans child. It’s also OK not to understand everything at first.

“You don’t actually need to understand in order to love,” she says. “You don’t need to understand in order to affirm and support.”