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The legendary drag queen recently told Out magazine about his experiences with "self-loathing" gay men.
RuPaul has never wanted to hide who he is.
In a world unforgiving to marginalized groups, the legendary drag queen has taken the parts of his identity that might have held him back and instead used them to build an illustrious career and community. But even before achieving global recognition, RuPaul saw little reason to diminish himself.
The icon dove into the topics in his new memoir, The House of Hidden Meanings, where he recounted his experiences as a Black gay youth in 1970s Atlanta. RuPaul revealed that at times he felt a disconnect between himself and the two communities.
“I was confused. My understanding was that every gay person had the same experience that I did,” he told Out magazine, The Advocate's sister publication, as its March/April cover star. "I felt that thinking outside the box had to do with being gay, but that really wasn’t the case."
On one hand, RuPaul witnessed a religious Black community that would practice piety by day but would visit a brothel with transgender sex workers by night. On the other, he experienced a queer community made up of "masculine white gay men" who scorned anything ethnic or feminine.
RuPaul explained that even as his career gained traction, he would “cross paths with masculine white gay men who looked at me with a kind of seething hatred, a self-loathing turned outward; their internalized homophobia like a sneer of contempt."
Both groups were hiding, RuPaul said, and both were trying to distance themselves from the same things. But those things would end up being the icon's greatest strengths as he forged relationships based in authenticity.
“As I got older, I realized that there were different experiences," he said. "When I found my true tribe, what we had in common was thinking outside the box. We were bohemians who recognized that the emperor wasn’t wearing any clothes. Our creed was ‘Don’t be fooled by the superficial, get to the realness.’”
