The Girther Movement Isn't About Fat-Shaming (Mostly)

I'll just start by saying I know there are much more important things happening in our country than Donald Trump's medical exam. We had an incredible turnout for the Women's March; the government was shut down because no matter what Trump campaigned on, he alone couldn't fix it; and hundreds of thousands of Dreamers were used as political pawns in negotiations because Stephen Miller doesn't like brown people. All of that being said, I do think it's important to continue to call out the liar in chief as often as possible.

Last week (I know, it feels like two years), the results of Trump's medical exam were released. He is reportedly a healthy 6' foot 3 and 239 pounds. Now, in no way am I fat-shaming Trump. You can absolutely be 239 pounds (ha ha ha ha ... yeah, right) and run a country. You can't, however, blatantly lie about small things and not expect the entire rational, sighted community to continually challenge you.

Trump's doctor said publicly that Trump is in perfect shape and would live to be 200 if only he had a better diet. What reputable doctor says things like that about a man who refuses to exercise and is rumored to inhale cheeseburgers and Diet Cokes on the regular? And are you kidding me? The man is on a cholesterol-lowering medication because, I don't know, he alone seems to be 1.5 million of the over 1 billion served at McDonald's. He also said Trump would remain healthy throughout his presidency, which most of us are hoping ends after the midterm election.

People have made a valid point that the doctor was the official White House physician long before Trump took office, so stop with the conspiracy theories. In a normal situation, I would agree, but nothing else since Trump entered the presidential race has remained normal.

Other seemingly respectable people have already put their reputations in jeopardy for the sake of Trump. When he called African nations "shithole" countries and longed for more immigrants from Norway, the secretary of Homeland Security -- whose last name of Nielsen originates from Scandinavia -- said under oath out loud when questioned by Congress that she didn't know whether Norway is a predominantly white country. The head of Homeland Security! You see what I mean? Respected people are making themselves look dumb to ensure that Trump can maintain this smoke-and-mirrors show he's put on for the last year. Why would this doctor be immune to Trump-mentia?

The notion that Trump is 6 foor 3 and 239 pounds is laughable -- not just because he appears to be much heavier than men of equal height and weight, but also because Trump has indicated before that he's 6 foot 2. In fact, it's on his driver's license.

Why does this matter? Trump would never intentionally make anything about himself smaller, so why would the doctor change his height? According to the body mass inde), if Trump is 6 foor 3 instead of 6 foot 2 and 239 pounds, that puts him one pound shy of obese. Convenient, wouldn't you say? That would mean Trump was 30.7 percent fat, which is coincidentally almost the same as his approval rating. Unless things have changed dramatically since my high school health class, I know how to properly put a condom on a cucumber, and I know obese is far from healthy.

You can imagine social media exploded after the doctor's results were made public. My Twitter account was no exception. I put out a public Batcall for men who are 6 feet ... we'll say 3 inches ... to please post pictures of themselves (Clothed. This isn't an audition for The Bachelor). People were more than happy to oblige. The entire thread is worth reading, but here are some of my favorites.

This administration is notorious for trying to convince the general public they don't actually see what they think they see, even when there is photographic proof. We as a country need to continue to call Trump out on provable discrepancies no matter how small. It's not about his height or his weight. It's about this president continuing to exist in a different reality than the majority of this country.

Don't get me wrong, I can relate to wanting to fib about your weight from time to time. I haven't been happy with my primary doctor for a while. He keeps saying I'm 5 foor 8 and 155 pounds. I decided I've had enough of that, so I went to Trump's doctor. I'm happy to report I'm now 5 foor 10 and 135 pounds! It must have been that McDonald's I had for dinner last night.

DANA GOLDBERG is a comedian and host of Out in Left Field. Follow her on Twitter @DGComedy.