Hooking up,
finding love, part 2

John Egan Age: 41 Residence: Redfern, Australia Occupation: University professor Identifies as: Gay Relationship status: Partnered two years; married eight months

Maximilian and I met on Gaydar.com, and it was strictly going to be a hookup. I had temporarily relocated to Australia for work; he was weeks out of a 10-year relationship. The first time we got together we had awesome sex, but there was that magic of potential there too. A week later we went to a bad movie and had mediocre Chinese barbecue for dinner, and the next thing I knew he was sleeping in my apartment. I'm tickled that he is "the trick that stuck around"--it reflects our lives, individually and shared.

David Schuller Age: 43 Residence: Astoria, N.Y. Occupation: Legal secretary and actor Identifies as: Gay Relationship status: Engaged one year

I saw Sean on the altar every Sunday. I thought he was a priest. I had a little crush on him, but he's tiny and preppy, and I'm a big ol' bear and never would have thought he would be interested. When we finally got down to a face-to-face meeting he was cleaning up the altar after Mass. I went up to him and said, "Hi, I'm David," and he gave me a big hug and said, "I feel like I know you

already; we should go out to dinner or for coffee or something." We went for beers at a neighborhood bar-restaurant where my gay friends and I hang out. I started braying about disappointments in past relationships and how I just wanted to find a relationship "where two men find their synthesis, with God as its source, and aren't afraid to belong to one another." Sean replied, "I believe I can help you with that." On our third date I was walking him to the subway. I gave him a kiss and watched him walk down the steps, when he sealed the deal: He looked back and waved goodbye again. I proposed to him six months later. We've been apart maybe three times since then.

Donovan Whitehurst Age: 32 Residence: San Francisco Occupation: Account administrator Identifies as: Gay Relationship status: Partnered two years

I first met Fred through an online message board I belong to called DancingBearsSF. It's a group of huskier, hairier guys who also happen to dig clubs and house music. We met on New Year's Day on a dance floor, both dressed in pajamas. While I had on some comfy pajama bottoms, Fred showed up in a baby-blue thermal onesie with counting sheep all over it. I was utterly smitten. He asked me for a kiss. The attraction was instant. Our first date was low-key, romantic, and simple. He was smart, funny, and very sexy. He told me that he had become attracted to me through the posts I was writing for the board. I was flattered--and turned on even more. I've never been one to believe that people who meet in bars don't or won't last in the long run. I feel the same way about chatting and meeting folks online. In the end, it's all about how you communicate outside those places. If you're spending all your time in a bar, you've probably found a great drinking buddy. And if you're spending all of your time online, you're probably not communicating at all. My partner, Fred, and I met in both places, and we now share a home and life together outside of both.

Demi Wiemann Age: 26 Residence: Janesville, Wis. Occupation: Graduate student Identifies as: Lesbian Relationship status: Partnered two years

I met my girlfriend, Gaia, at a women's hockey game at the University of Wisconsin. I went with a friend, and we sat next to Gaia. I had a boyfriend at the time, and according to Gaia, I was so "out of her league" that she never even thought of pursuing me romantically. A few weeks later I ran into her at a local gay dance club. The first thing out of her mouth was "What's your beef?" Unassuming, I replied, "Not much. I am going to Europe in a week." I must have misunderstood her, because I guess her question really was, Do I like girls? She bought me a drink, and we danced. She smelled amazing. But we didn't kiss. Later I went over to watch a movie at her place. I was in her room, and I remember holding her hand, to her surprise. After the first movie she asked me if she could kiss me, and I said yes. Then she asked me to stay over. I said no but did it anyway. The next week, when I was in Europe, I thought about her all the time. Many of my gay and straight friends question why I am with her. They say I am too hot for her. This has never made sense to me, because I think Gaia is beautiful. Right now we are so happy. We have a dog together and can't wait to be done with school next year and eventually buy a house and maybe have kids. I can't imagine life without her.

Hooking up, finding love, part 1Hooking up, finding love, part 3