Love at first
site: David Smith

David Smith (not his real last name, right), 25 Residence: Austin Relationship status: partnered, with Brad

To this day we still argue about who messaged whom first. In April 2001, I started talking to this guy. We were both in college, me in southeast Texas, him in Saskatchewan, Canada. I thought it would be a typical "Hi, how ya doin'?" one-chat fling so typical of the Internet, or maybe just typical of me, a 19-year-old struggling with his sexuality.

It turns out that we had an amazing first chat. I added him to my instant-messenger list. That was a big step for me.

After several weeks of chatting every night, I finally convinced him to give me his phone number. Our first phone conversation lasted about six hours. After several weeks of talking countless hours on the phone, I was a mess. I had always thought that two men couldn't love each other and that it was something that was a perversion--that one day I would find a woman, or a good enough relationship with God, that would make all these desires go away. I still remember when I told him I was scared that I was in love with him. The earth didn't break, but the walls I had built around myself did.

I flew to Canada to see him. That week in August 2001 gave me the most amazing memories of my life. Even though this guy knew the innermost workings of my heart and I had opened up so completely on the phone and through e-mail, a bit of that old denial remained when we met in person. I struggled to hold back and remain composed when we embraced for the first time in that tiny airport in Saskatoon.

We've been together now for five years. It hasn't been easy, and the legality of his staying in the United States becomes very worrisome every year when he has to renew his work visa. So much adversity, so many people unwilling to acknowledge the reality of our love--but I couldn't care less. No matter who messaged whom first, I know this man is mine, and I am his--and always will be.