Send in the clown

Let's get this out of the way. Is Stuart Smalley gay? I don't know! That's a really good question...and don't think that wasn't the honest answer. I've never discussed whether he is or not. I think I know, but it's never been the issue. It's all about codependency.

What were you thinking when you saw this federal gay marriage amendment going up for yet another vote? Well, I thought it was cynical. Like everything they do.

In your opinion, what can gays do to help their own cause? I think one thing would be to letpeople know that in, like, 37 states someone can be fired for being gay. There are still no laws [or protections] on the books. And I think that's obviously even more basic than gay marriage as an issue.

I'm a Democrat who has become disillusioned, in part regarding the same-sex marriage issue. Is there anything you want to say to Democrats who feel the same way? Tell them to support Patty Wetterling, who's running for Congress against Michele Bachmann in the 6th district in Minnesota. Bachmann has basically dedicated her whole career to outlawing gay marriage in Minnesota--to do a constitutional amendment or something. So if your readers would like to help somebody, help Patty.

What are your thoughts about how Bill Clinton and John Kerry handled same-sex marriage? There's this question, which is, Why is marriage between a man and a woman? And the answer is, Because I think marriage is between a man and a woman. It seems the definition of a tautology: It is because it is. They have different positions than I do. I think it's just a matter of time [until we have marriage equality], and as politicians they might have thought it wasn't quite time yet. I'm just a different kind of politician, and if I run for the Senate in Minnesota, one of my strengths has to be that when I say something, people may not agree with it, but at least they'll know I say what I believe. And I believe this is a civil rights issue.

Are you afraid that if you run for a Senate seat, unfunny skits from SNL will be used against you? No. To prove a skit wasn't funny, it takes more than 30 seconds!