Kevin Brewer is a popular, attractive, straight football star at Mt. Hebron High School in Maryland. And the 17-year-old senior is also a proud friend of classmate Luke Johnson, who just happens to be gay. "Gays should be treated no differently than anyone else in America," Brewer says. "We're exactly the same, right? Just a different preference."
As the latest generation embraces gay rights in a way their parents did not, many young queer males are finding it easier to come out and maintain friendships with their straight male friends.
"When I first decided to come out, I made a conscious decision to tell [Kevin] first," says Johnson. "I felt like I had to--he had been there for me so many times, and I would think that he would want me to tell him."
But the faith he had in his friend didn't come without fear.
"Oh, God, was I terrified," Johnson admits. "Even though we didn't live in a really homophobic place, there was still that stigma."
But Brewer exceeded his expectations and continued to be the friend that Johnson had known him to be. "Nothing changed. The earth didn't explode, and the sky didn't collapse," Brewer says. "Luke was the exact same person, who happened to like guys. Big deal."
Greg Speck, 20, remembers when he first learned that his friend Alex Plaxen, also 20, is gay. "He actually mentioned it in casual conversation," Speck recalls. "And I'll admit it made him all the more interesting. It's all in the eyes. I could tell Alex had a lot of wisdom beyond his years, and that's what I'm looking for in a friend."
Speck and Plaxen met as students at San Francisco's Academy of Art University. "I wasn't afraid of not being able to be friends with [straight guys]," says Plaxen. "More that I would develop stronger feelings that couldn't be reciprocated. However, I soon learned that it wasn't something I needed to fear, and actually some straight guys are flattered by it. And getting over that fear has made me able to meet some of the best friends I've ever had."
The feeling is mutual for Speck.
"This past year Alex and a few others have really broadened [my perspective]," says Speck. "It has taught me more about our humanity and more about myself. I have gained an even more open mind."
Indeed, gay-straight male friendships are removing barriers and smashing stereotypes. Some homo-friendly heteros have words of wisdom for those struggling with gay friends.
Brewer asks unaccepting straights, "What's the big deal? [Your gay friend] is the exact same person. He likes the same things and eats the same food and listens to the same music."
Speck's advice: "Envision yourself in his shoes, and imagine how difficult it must be. Realize that he cares enough about the friendship--and you--to want to be honest."
