What was I
thinking? Moving to a remote Micronesian island only months
after coming out seemed like lunacy. But I needed to do it
to advance my nascent career as a marine biologist and
educator.
Rota is a small
island in the commonwealth of the Northern Mariana
Islands, which are among the Pacific islands that came under
U.S. protection during World War II. Rota's
population was just under 3,300 in 2000, and its land
area fills less than 33 square miles. In that small a
place, it was certain everyone would shortly know everything
about me. The people, who are strongly Roman Catholic,
would talk behind my back.
It didn't
take long for a particularly outgoing student to raise the
question I dreaded most: "Mister, are you
gay?" Since embracing my sexuality, I have
answered that question with great confidence. But as a
teacher, I found the question inappropriate for a student. I
brushed it aside, saying it had nothing to do with the
organic structure of the carbohydrates we were
studying.
At previous
teaching jobs, I've had inner-city students ask me if
I liked big tits or if I was dating the crazy tattooed
lady who taught English literature. Those questions
struck me as brazen disregard for teacher authority.
These were no mere inquiries but rather challenges, a way to
expose a perceived vulnerability and have my students gain
an advantage in the classroom.
Why should asking
if I am gay be any different?
But as much as we
try to be professional or private, sexuality is an
important part of being human. I've had enough of
hiding who I am, and perhaps my school is more
accepting of differences than I expected. With a
student body of just under 200, we have two transgender
students who are well-incorporated into the social
fabric of teenage island life.
So I'm no
longer going to worry about being asked that dreadful
question. At some point my boyfriend from Guam will
come visit and we'll be spotted at the lone gas
station or walking along the beach, and it won't take
long for word to spread. Perhaps I will be able to give my
inquisitive student something to talk about. And maybe
I will be accepted into the island community.