The news of Mary
Cheney's pregnancy exemplifies once again how the
best interests of children are denied when lesbian,
gay, bisexual, and transgender parents are treated
unfairly and accorded different and unequal rights and
responsibilities than other parents. As Mary and her
partner of 15 years, Heather Poe, enter into the
life-changing roles of parents, they will quickly face
the reality that no matter how loved their child will
be--by its mothers and its grandparents, aunts and
uncles, cousins, and close family friends--he or she
will never have the same protections that other
children born to heterosexual couples enjoy. It is a wonderful thing whenever a child is
brought into the world by loving parents. We want to
be among the first to congratulate the couple and
welcome them into the community of families headed by
lesbian and gay couples throughout the nation.
Unfortunately, we also feel a duty to warn them of the
challenges they are going to face because of the unfair
treatment of lesbian and gay parents that has been codified
into law at both the state and federal level in the
United States--legal changes that have resulted
in large part due to the political strategies of the Bush
administration. That administration's second-in-command,
Vice President Dick Cheney, will be the baby's grandfather. Mary and Heather live in Virginia. Unless they
move to a handful of less restrictive states, Heather
will never be able to have a legal relationship with
her child. If something were to happen to Mary and
Heather needed to advocate for their child in an emergency
room, at school, in the courts, the state of Virginia
would not recognize Heather as a parent to their
child. If Mary some day chose to deny Heather access
to their children in terms of custody or visitation, Heather
would have no legal standing to challenge her actions.
If Heather chose to walk away from her life with Mary
and their family, Mary would have no recourse to
pursue child support to help her care for and raise the
children that together she and Heather brought into
the world. Just as important, however, are the thousands of
day-to-day challenges of interacting in the world as a
family with two mommies that will impact Mary and
Heather's child. Mary and Heather and their child,
like the rest of American lesbian- and gay-headed
families, will face the prejudice and homophobia that
continue to run rampant against gay men and lesbians and
their children. Mary and Heather will face the heartbreaking
realities of trying to protect their child from
hostile looks and comments and the more subtle
indignities of the less-than-full American citizenship that
they will have to face throughout their lives. The tragedy here is that this climate of
hostility toward the LGBT community has only worsened
during an administration in which Mary's
father--Grandpa Cheney--has been second in
command. Vice President Cheney has been complicit in
the largest full-scale attack on the LGBT community in
modern history. He, his President, and his political party
have repeatedly scapegoated the LGBT community and
LGBT families as part of a calculated political
strategy; the Bush administration has attacked at
all levels the rights and protections his own daughter will
need to ensure a strong, healthy, and legally
protected family. Family is a defining part of who we are and is a
strong part of the American fabric. For Mary Cheney
and Heather Poe, it is no different. They are excited
to build their own family. According to statements from
the Vice President's office, their child will be
welcomed into the extended Cheney family. However,
what is unfair and appalling is that the child and its
parents will not be equally welcomed into the extended
American family. Like all new parents, Mary and Heather will
endure many nights of sleep deprivation in the months
following the birth of their child. However, as he
looks into the face of his new grandchild, Grandfather
Cheney will no doubt face a lifetime of sleepless nights as
he reflects on the irreparable harm he and his
administration have done to his own
grandchild--and the millions of American gay and
lesbian parents and their children.