For the boys

I thought I looked fabulous. New dress, new shoes, even got my legs waxed by a woman who doesn't know my name. She just calls me "Big Girl" (I am 6 feet tall), and I respond. I felt good, and as I perused the bar I caught a handsome man looking in my direction. He walked over, took both my hands, twirled me around like a ballerina, and exclaimed, "You are flawless...absolutely flawless." Then came his next words: "So...what's your boy name?"

That's just one of the many questions you get when you are a straight girl working and breathing in the gay community. People think you're a drag queen. Hell, one guy thought I used to be a guy. (I told him I was born female, but not till after the third cosmopolitan.) That's right, I am your Judy, Liza, and Bette of 2007, baby! I have played bathhouses, bars, leather pageants, nightclubs, and RSVP cruises. I've even performed with a symphony in Denmark. My gay men have always been there, from feeding a starving artist (and believe me, big girls like me get hungry) to making a gown for the show and even being my dates for major social and political events. Gay men in general have helped me through my hardships. They've brought out the glamazon in me.

My life has been like a wacky Will & Grace-style sitcom. I've had a gay male influence since childhood. I'm the only girl who had little gay boys using my Easy-Bake Oven for brie and souffles. I have protected them from gay bashing, marched with them at Cracker Barrel for equal rights, and cried when they succumbed to disease. I met my husband because his best friend and my best friend were gay. They told us to get married and procreate to make more homosexuals for the world!

I just gave away my good friend and business partner, Freddy, to his husband, Lance. After performing for over 13 years with Freddy, I feel lucky and blessed to be accepted in this world where I am a minority.

Maybe that's why I can relate to gay men. Being laughed at for my height and size is just as bad as being laughed at for your sexuality. It's given us a common bond as we fight and conquer our insecurities. Gay men made me stand up and cheer for myself, regardless of size, and in turn I hope to inspire gay men to embrace their sexuality. An ex-boyfriend of mine who is now a drag queen named Teriaki (I told you my life is a sitcom) was commenting on how I still talk to him and his boyfriend, even go to his shows. Why wouldn't I? I will always love him, in pants or panty hose. I believe we all should help one another in this world, regardless of sexuality -- besides, without gay men, straight people would wear khaki all day and be so fucking bored!