"I always said after my last relationship, because it was so horrible, that I would never get married," says Wesley Carr-Patterson (right). But Demetrius Patterson changed his mind. The couple had a civil ceremony on November 6 in Washington, D.C. "I realized that he loved me for me," Wesley says. "Flaws and all! He completely changed that mind-set I was stuck in."
The two first met in January 2011. Demetrius proposed to Wesley November 22, 2013, at a Cajun restaurant in Atlanta while they were there celebrating Wesley's birthday. Demetrius says the moment he knew Wesley was the one was "when Wesley graduated from college the first thing he said to me was, 'It's your turn to follow your dreams and I will support you the way you have supported me.' That's how my heart knew he was not only my best friend, but my life partner."
Wesley, 27, is from Chattanooga, Tenn. He is an alumnus of Middle Tennessee State University, where he received a bachelor's degree in social work. He currently runs Life & Encore Image Consulting, where he works as a celebrity wardrobe stylist for Bravo's Thicker Than Water show.
Demetrius, 26, is the owner and founder of Diverse Inclusions LLC, and the chief financial officer for Vision Link Media & Management Group, providing a full concierge business with services that include public relations, project and event management, and TV production. He is from Milwaukee.
Both Wesley and Demetrius are also certified holistic life coaches and cofounders of the Victoria W. Carr Foundation of HOPE that assists victims of domestic violence, named in memory of Wesley's mother. Theye now live in Nashville with their two daughters, Kayden and London.
"We live in what I call the buckle of the Bible Belt," Demetrius laughs. "So it's always funny to answer the question, 'What's the bride's name?' then watch the individual try to collect themselves after I give them his name."
They are planning a ceremony and reception for May 15 in Nashville (though Tennessee doesn't yet offer marriage equality). Dwayne Jenkins, program coordinator for Nashville Cares, will officiate the ceremony. They are looking forward to sharing the day with their closest family members, colleagues, a few celebrity friends, and even those who can only be there in spirit.
"We are paying a small tribute to those whom we have lost, that cannot be with us physically. Personally, this day is very important and special to me because we have learned to live as if it was our last day together," Wesley says. "I live life with lupus, which is an immune-system disease that is not curable. So to be in our planning stages up to the big day is major for me."
"Him not always being physically capable of experiencing life to its fullest is a challenge," Demetrius says. "Being able to share each moment and day together through this journey is one I will always remember."
Photos by Natalie Breonah
If you're engaged, recently married, or a new parent, we'd love to hear your story. Reach us at editor@advocate.com.
Viral post saying Republicans 'have two daddies now' has MAGA hot and bothered