Gay Man Denied Wedding in His Iowa Church After Parishioners Voted No

The congregation at Salem Lutheran Church in Lake Mills, Iowa, could have voted to amend the church's constitution to allow same-sex marriages but didn't.

Tracy E. Gilchrist

Tracy E. Gilchrist is the VP of Editorial and Special Projects at equalpride. A media veteran, she writes about the intersections of LGBTQ+ equality and pop culture. Previously, she was the editor-in-chief of The Advocate and the first feminism editor for the 55-year-old brand. In 2017, she launched the company's first podcast, The Advocates. She is an experienced broadcast interviewer, panel moderator, and public speaker who has delivered her talk, "Pandora's Box to Pose: Game-changing Visibility in Film and TV," at universities throughout the country.

Read Full Bio

Tracy E. Gilchrist

May 02 2019 10:48 AM EST

Sorry to interrupt...
But we wanted to take a moment to thank you for reading. Your support makes original LGBTQ+ reporting possible. Help us hold Trump accountable.

One-time Monthly

$19.67 $50 Other

$5 $19.67 $50

The congregation at Salem Lutheran Church in Lake Mills, Iowa, voted Sunday against amending its constitution to allow a gay congregant to marry his partner, according to Des Moines NBC affiliate WHO.

The church's constitution forbids pastors to perform same-sex marriages, although the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America, as a denomination, allows such unions. The congregation at Salem Lutheran could have amended the church's constitution to allow Derek Harmon, who grew up in the church, to marry his partner, Jesus, but ultimately did not. The vote came down to 103 congregants voting to amend and 98 voting against, but the bylaws require a two-thirds majority to pass.

"My hometown is my hometown. There are a lot of people I love there and there are a lot of people who love me there, and just like my brother and sister were married in that church, I was a very active member in that church. I don't understand why I wouldn't have the opportunity to do that," Harmon told WHO ahead of the vote.

Harmon had the full support of his mother, Rhonda, who said, "My hope is the future, that other people don't have to go through this. So this is why we speak, so other homosexual people can be blessed in a union at church."

Trending stories

How climate disasters hurt mental health in young people

Discover the power of Wellness in your life

Elon Musk uses burner accounts on X, doesn’t fact-check: report

Gerald Garth is keeping people of color happy and healthy through trying times

The Charles is Pacific Grove's new LGBTQ+ hotel

6 lesbian films coming we can't wait to see in 2025

All 6 rogue Mississippi cops got long prison sentences in 'Goon Squad' torture of 2 Black men

France becomes world’s first country to enshrine abortion rights in constitution

Cowboys & Queens U.S. tour by Jane Hilton: A modern American dream

For us, by us: 15 great trans movies made by trans filmmakers

In 'Survival of the Thickest,' queer joy and activism are one and the same

SFAF's Dr. Tyler TerMeer says he'll continue to fight for health care for all

Watch Kelly Clarkson celebrate Trans Day of Visibility on her show

Trans Day of Visibility meets MAGA? See this 'Drag Race' star's fierce stunt

Country star Tanner Adell comes out as pansexual

From rock legends to Pride flags: Discover the vibrant LGBTQ+ scene in Asbury Park

Bob the Drag Queen shades Mistress Isabelle Brooks’ weight loss: 'Girl, you have to get new pads'

Joe Biden has tied the record for most LGBTQ+ judges confirmed in federal courts

Trump's orders prompt CDC to erase HIV resources

Where to stay in LGBTQ+ Ireland: Castles, domes and luxury retreats

Season 4 of The Switch on resilience & radical self-love returns this spring

Elton John broke down crying while writing new song 'about my death'

Discover why chic Costa Navarino is Europe's luxury getaway

JD Vance ruthlessly mocked after everyone in Greenland refused to welcome wife Usha Vance

Watch: In gay period romance 'Lilies Not For Me,' playful wrestling turns sensual (exclusive)

Others in the congregation could not get on board with blessing the nuptials. One family, the Halvorsons, stated, "We tolerate differences we do not agree with, but there is a big difference between that and accepting, condoning, or participating in any activity or choice of another person if we feel that according to our religious beliefs, we find it unacceptable or immoral."

Following the vote, Harmon, who currently lives in California, said that he and Jesus would likely marry in that state, where "inclusiveness is embraced."