Since my last slideshow on role play fantasies, I've had pup talks with many people. Not pep talks. Pup talks.
What is a pup? What is puppy play? As a role play, puppy play is rapidly becoming one of the most approachable and popular images of kink. The nonthreatening image of guys on all fours, barking and wagging their tails, makes kink look like one giant, adorable adult pretend game. But when you add in mummification, ball stretching, fisting, weighted collars, interrogation scenes, and all the stuff some kinky people get into along with puppy play, the cute image shatters.
What this illustrates is that role play, like all kink, has a spectrum ranging from the cute to the dark, from the mild to the extreme -- and one person can enjoy many different roles. Puppy play itself is something different people take to different extremes. Some use the term loosely and call themselves "pup" because they're playful and nonvanilla. Others, like me, really get into the barking and animalism of the kink and prefer to do more extreme sex practices in that headspace.
This is the basic formula for all role play: You play consensually with someone else. You pretend. You act. You get aroused. You may have sex, you may not. You explore an erotic experience. And you stop when you want to stop.
We've already covered the basic role play fantasies in 39 Role-Play Scenarios Every Gay Couple Should Try. Now we're going to get creative.
A Word of Warning From Writer Alexander Cheves
My name is Alexander Cheves, and I am known by friends in the kink and leather community as Beastly. I am a sex-positive writer and blogger. The views in this slideshow do not reflect those of The Advocate and are based solely off of my own experiences. Like everything I write, the intent of this piece is to break down the stigmas surrounding the sex lives of gay men.
Those who are sensitive to frank discussions about sex are invited to click elsewhere, but consider this: If you are outraged by content that address sex openly and honestly, I invite you to examine this outrage and ask yourself whether it should instead be directed at those who oppress us by policing our sexuality.
For all others, enjoy the slideshow. And feel free to leave your own suggestions of sex and dating topics in the comments.
Hungry for more? Follow me on Twitter @BadAlexCheves and visit my blog, The Beastly Ex-Boyfriend.
1. Catching your lover cheating and joining in -- or simply being cuckolded.
Vocabulary.com defines "cuckold" as "a man who has been betrayed by his wife. If your wife cuckolds you, she is cheating on you with a different man." The site goes on, "This is an old-fashioned word you can find in many Shakespeare plays [author's insertion: Othello, Hamlet, Twelfth Night], though cuckolding is certainly older than Shakespeare and will exist as long as there are marriages."
What Vocabulary.com doesn't say is that cuckolding and being a cuckold is an erotic scenario for many people -- or that, as a kink, cuckolding and being a cuckold is open to more than just hetero husbands with hetero wives and archaic verbiage. Everyone of all genders and orientations can participate!
Some guys have a fantasy of stumbling in on their boyfriends cheating -- getting hammered by a hot muscle daddy or hammering someone in turn on the couple's bed -- and joining in. Or they fantasize about being forced to watch, and meanly denied participation. The express nature of this role play is that it invariably involves a third-party participant, and its illicitness -- its cheating aspect, its infidelity -- is part of the fantasy.
2. Dressing room with the store salesman.
Everyone has the fantasy of being in the dressing room, trying on a Boy London shirt, realizing it doesn't fit, and having to step out shirtless to ask the sexy English salesman or fitting room attendant to grab you another size.
He knocks a few minutes later with the right size and offers you a pair of pants as well. "Try these on. You'd look good in them." He steps in. Porn ensues.
I have legitimately come close to living this fantasy out -- not in a Boy London retailer, sadly, but definitely Topman (close enough). Regardless where I shop, the pants I want to try on almost never fit, and it's easy to lean out of the dressing room in my jockstrap, trousers folded over my arm, and politely ask the attendant for a size up. "Thanks," I say. "My ass is about to bust out of these."
Better yet: Stuff your junk into the too-small pants. If there's a mirror in the fitting room, walk out, do a 360 turn, and ask him, "Will this material shrink? If so, I might need to go a size up. What do you think?"
Turn as you ask the question, so he sees "the problem." If the material is ambiguous, he might need to finger the tag in back to see what it's made of -- realizing you're not wearing any underwear in the process.
3. Being measured by the tailor.
Getting your measurements done is always low-level erotic -- particularly that pant inseam. And getting a chest measurement always has a bondage feel.
This is an easy role-play fantasy to do with a friend or playmate. All you really need is a tape measure and pin cushion. If you're the one doing the measuring, draw it out. Measure everything. Tell him you have to measure his dick to make sure the crotch fits just right. Explain you must measure the distance from his balls to his hole, gently laying the measure across his taint. Spend a lot of time down on one knee, inspecting closely. As any designer will tell you, a good suit must be precisely tailored. Don't miss an inch.
4. Being made to wear (or being caught in) women's clothing.
Fem-dom/dominatrix/domme porn is filled with forced feminization -- that is, with women forcing their male slaves into panties and fishnets. But why should dominatrixes have all the fun? Some guys love getting "caught" in a bra and lace thong by their boyfriends and playmates.
A man being made to wear women's clothing is a pretty common kink, as is the lifestyle of cross-dressing, which in today's charged social climate tends to be left out in the cold. Just about any term one uses to describe the practice of hetero or homo-identified cisgender (nontrans) men wearing women's clothing for erotic purposes will likely get called out as transphobic by those who refuse to distinguish between cross-dressing and being transgender -- or worse, as being synonymous with transgender identity, which it is not.
Let's be clear: A cisgender man who enjoys being forced to wear women's clothing -- or being caught in it -- is not a transgender woman. He's just kinky and fetishizes women's clothing. For a transgender woman, the clothes don't matter. She is a woman. Period. End of story.
Whenever you have the opportunity to educate people on terms -- including kinky ones -- do it. Throw in some queer theory. Make everyone read Eve Sedgwick.
5. Shrink and client.
How are you feeling today? Shrink and client is a classic role play with a built-in power dynamic. Shrinks are assumed to generally be in control of the space, probing their sexually frustrated clients with deep questions.
6. Two straight guys "trying it" for the first time.
The basis for 99 percent of all gay porn ever.
7. "Sir, I am here to repair your..."
"The repairman" is a classic. An icon. A legend.
You open the door and he's there: a Tom of Finland drawing. Sweating from a hard day's work, he's rolled up his oil-stained sleeves to the elbow and unbuttoned his shirt all the way to his belt (chest hair galore). Under his tool belt you discern the outline of what could possibly be a small Rottweiler or a forgotten piece of 10-inch circumference piping left over from an earlier plumbing job.
Make him fix everything. Who cares if he's a plumber? Make him rewire the whole house if you have to. When he's weary from all the hard work, you're there in the backyard, pulling weeds in a jockstrap -- as one does -- and listening to "With These Hands" by Tom Jones so loud that you don't hear him come up behind you. Porn ensues.
8. Naked on the tattoo artist's table.
Masochists, body-mod fetishists, and blood fetishists, listen up: Don't carry out this role-play scenario unless your playmate is a licensed tattoo artist working in a clean shop with sterilized needles. And, you know, make sure you really want that paw print on your ass.
I don't know any way to mimic this role-play scenario without involving needles, so I advise against it.
Needle play is a totally separate thing, and as a kink it's fairly common. But in needle play you usually push sterile needles sideways through a shallow top part of skin (think: no deeper than a safety pin) in fat, meaty parts of the body away from bone, vital arteries, tendons, or organs (typically on the shoulder blades and upper back regions). Needle play as a kink should only be done by a pro.
9. Strait-jacketed in the insane asylum.
Strait-jackets are hardly used anymore except as bondage gear by kinksters into predicament bondage. There are countless hours of kinky porn on the internet following this setup that you can use as inspiration, but remember that its props -- good bondage equipment -- get costly.
Much of the "insane asylum" porn gets pretty extreme -- so, as with all fetish play, don't try to replicate what you see in porn immediately. Go slow and push limits at a reasonable pace. We don't want you getting hurt because you tried to replicate the video of the sadist warden locking up his favorite inmate in a strait-jacket for some heavy ass-paddling.
10. Escort and client.
I've done this one with a boyfriend. We pretended to not know each other when I walked in. He put the cash on the table. He told me what he wanted me to do: "Take off everything. Get on the bed. Show off your hole." It ended up being insanely, incredibly, stupidly hot -- and then we took the cash and went grocery shopping.
11. Flasher and voyeur.
Role play works great here because, despite all our wonderful dreams and fantasies of being in that park at the right time or looking up at that apartment complex and seeing the hottest homo action imaginable, it rarely happens.
That's the great thrill of true voyeurism: the fact that those few, blessed hits happen so infrequently among all the misses. If you're tired of cruising your gym, try flasher/voyeur role play with a buddy.
12. Auditioning actor and talent scout.
"As you see in the script, this part will require you to get naked. Are you OK with that?"
"Yes."
"Prove it."
13. Job interview.
How many retro porn clips with baggy '80s shirts have we seen where a young, nervous stud gets interviewed by a boss indiscreetly rubbing his crotch behind the desk? Blow jobs ensue, typically followed by one (or both) parties being bent over the desk. Job interviews are always hot and terrifying, particularly if your boss is hot and terrifying. You're required to sell yourself a little bit, and you're automatically subordinate. Try this role play if you can really get into it, handle interrogation scenes, and not laugh.
14. Sex researcher and interviewee.
Kinsey fans might enjoy this more highbrow role play, which is close to "shrink and client" but more obvious about the final intent. A bespectacled sex researcher in a tweed jacket and trousers wants to know your sex practices: what you do, who you do it with, what safe sex is involved (if any), where you like it, what you like, how you want it, how rough you like it, how often you need it, where you like him to put it, where you want him grab, what you want him to grab, where you want him to stick his fingers -- for research.
15. Alien abduction.
Some of the best gay porn -- and some of the worst production quality -- has been devoted to alien abduction scenarios where the handsome, erect victim lies on a white examination table being poked, prodded, and probed by horny extraterrestrials (guys in rubber with green gloves or something).
16. Shoe salesman.
As a kid, I always wondered why I felt strange when the shoe salesman made me take off my sneaker and put my socked foot in this metal contraption. Then I grew up and learned a bit more about how desire works and where it starts. Kinks and fetishes, in my experience (and, really, depending on who you ask in the sexual sciences), start young, often from mundane experiences.
I totally get the eroticized "shoe salesman" role play. It involves foot fetish, shoe fetish, and a mild servitude, which can be very sexy. And that contraption, whatever it's called, is cold and terrifying, those plates sliding against your feet, and suddenly you're vulnerable, subordinate to a stranger. Kinky!
17. Urine drug test in the parole officer's office.
The kinky, sadomasochistic parole officer comes in twirling his handcuffs in a set of knee-high leather boots and says it's time to submit a urine test. If you're playing this out with a dom or sir or daddy, you can actually submit a urine sample -- there are home testing kits you can buy. If it comes back with a positive read (pretend or otherwise), you might get punished.
If you let him in on the fact that it's going to be positive, hoping he'll show mercy, he might want to perform a different urine test -- orally, anally, or simply a good ol' fashioned golden shower -- and then force you to perform the same test on him.
18. Foreign exchange student.
English accents are difficult to mimic -- most Americans overdo them and end up sounding Australian -- but if you can do it, do it. Just know that you might piss off a British guy if you mistakenly do it around him.
I lived in Zambia for a few years and visit regularly, and most of my friends there are South African or Afrikaans, so I can pass as someone from Johannesburg who has been living in the U.S. for a little bit.
But the real champion of "foreign exchange student" role play was a friend I had in college, who had traveled widely in France and did a flawless French accent -- and was truly pretty fluent in French. He had dark hair and dark eyes and always smoked a cigarette, which added to the whole persona. There were several nights that we all went out downtown, only to watch him go home with someone who legitimately believed he was Marc from Toulouse.
"Are you, how do you zay, bottom?" he asks, blowing a ring of smoke from his lips.
19. Boss and secretary.
There are problems with both the 2002 film Secretary and the Fifty Shades of Grey franchise in the fact that they both present kinkiness as something that comes from mental and emotional problems. But, cringingly, they are both on to something: Office power dynamics are totally hot and lend themselves effortlessly to dom/sub play.
If you're looking for a more drawn-out, service-oriented dom/sub role play, try this one. Take a cue from the above films while nixing all the unhealthy plot points. Gradually push your secretary's limits. Make him crawl on all fours and carry your papers in his mouth.
20. Pokemon and Pokemon Go player.
Embrace the new world order: Pokemon Go is here! I'm sure someone has already done it. Some gay man has dressed in a Pikachu onesie and yellow jockstrap and hidden somewhere in the house, waiting for his horny Pokemon Go player to come along and catch him.
I have never played Pokemon Go, but I'm all for turning it into sex play. If someone doesn't want to be the Pokemon Go player, you can always do group role play as Pokemon -- no player needed.
Think of a puppy pile (puppy play was included in my previous list of role-play fantasies) sans handler -- just alpha pups and beta pups going at it. I envison Pokemon doing the same thing -- or fighting, which in the best kinds of gay sex looks the same. Gotta catch 'em all!
21. Donald Trump and Mike Pence.
Something was in the air when that brilliant logo for Donald Trump's campaign came out. It was on the tip of all our tongues: Trump and Pence Parody Porn.
I'm not sure it exists yet, and frankly, any studio or performer doing Trump/Pence parody would have reason to fear for their lives and livelihoods. The Donald would surely have them tried for high treason should he become president. But I think it'd be fabulous.
This is a sad, tragic, angry role play with lots of shouting and broken floral vases. If the logo tells us anything, the top in your duo must play Trump and the bottom must play Mike Pence, his viciously antigay running mate and the governor of Indiana. You must go at it mercilessly, with a strong degree of closeted self-hatred. You may only use The Donald's peachy bronzer as lube.
Finally, you must wear Trump and Pence masks. You can find one of Trump easily, including nice full-head rubber ones from comedy stores and Halloween horror suppliers. Pence you might have to print off from the Internet and cut out his eyes.
22. Broke college student and cameraman.
The gay porn site Broke College Boys presents viewers with the fantasy that all the guys on camera are actual college guys strapped for cash. Never mind that many of them may be seen on other sites.
Broke Straight Boys does the same thing. Yes, these are poor straight guys who really need the money -- and voila! When the camera rolls, they go at it like dogs, with shaved holes and clean butts.
BSB has made a name for itself in the industry with that brilliant "interview" scene before the fucking. The guys get asked how much money they need and what they need it for -- "I just need a down payment on the car, man!" -- followed by some negotiation from the cameraman: "OK, I'll give you $1,500 if you do anal."
23. Restaurant server and chef.
When I was serving at a luxury seafood restaurant on the riverfront in Savannah, Ga., my chef was this hulking, blond-and-blue, Germanic hetero demigod with a wife and kids.
Word got out among the wait staff that he was hung as a horse, and after that I did everything I could to work closing shift with him. I would find reasons to be alone and vulnerable in the supply closet, hoping he would walk in after everyone had left, hot and bothered, and find me bent over, sweating, cleaning up a fallen box of saltine crackers.
24. Harry Potter role play.
Have you ever fantasized what gay sex would be like between Harry and Malfoy? Of course you have. And so has the internet, because there is an absurd amount of homoerotic Harry Potter fan fiction out there that you can sink your (Basilisk) teeth into.
As with the film franchise, you have to read the books first. Then grab a horny nerd and explore Hogwarts with your magic wands. Pig out in Hogsmeade. Try kinky, anonymous sex down Knockturn Alley. You get the idea.
#TeamSlytherin
25. Piercing parlor.
Piercing the skin is a kink, and piercings are on the list of fetish items I covered in my previous list of fetishes every gay man should know about. Because of this, piercing parlor role play is kind of automatically expected.
You can get off on being pierced at an actual parlor, even if your piercer is not a playmate or intentionally contributing to your arousal. A good friend got his taint piercing and Prince Albert in one fell swoop in Palm Springs a few months ago. His piercer was a buddy, not a playmate, but that didn't stop my friend from going home later and beating off from the whole experience.
All this is to say that piercings are sexy for some guys, as is the act of getting them done. Consider getting the piercing done professionally beforehand, letting it heal, then buying a new piece of jewelry and having your playmate put it in during role play, pretending it's a first-time piercing.
26. Furniture role play.
Some guys get really aroused at the idea of being a human table. Doing this typically involves some degree of sex gear and bondage, and is therefore not healthy for long-term periods. But if you want to be gagged and have a TV tray tied to your back and serve as a coffee table on all fours for your sir for a little bit, do it.
I know a lot of guys who fetishize cigars who like being ashtrays, which for many of them literally means opening up their mouths and being an ash receptacle when sir is smoking. Other guys just like being used as room decoration.
27. Human-size sex doll.
There are countless rubber suits -- along with quite a few pathetic Halloween costumes -- that can make you look like a human sex doll, typically with genital openings allowing you to actually be used (fucked, sucked off, ridden, etc.). This role play is hot for guys who like getting objectified and being treated as sex objects and want to be used as a toy by a dominant partner.
28. Urinal/toilet role play.
This is closely related to furniture role play, but is so popular among hard-core kinksters and rubber guys that it deserves its own category. There are endless muzzles, head harnesses, and gag contraptions that turn you into a urinal by funneling piss into a hollow tube going in your mouth. This one is obviously for piss play and watersports enthusiasts.
Toilet play commonly involves a whole different set of furniture. Some guys may simply like to be chained up in a shower and peed on. Others -- typically scat fetishists -- like putting their heads inside locked boxes with holes in the top that others may come along and shit in.
I feel bad for scat fetishists, because even in the world of kink, their interests and pleasures are frequently met with revulsion. Remember the first rule of kink: As long as everyone is a consenting adult aware of the risks they are taking, there should be no judgment and no shame.
29. Service/houseboy/butler role play.
Being a sex slave is something I mentioned in my last slideshow, and I want to distinguish something: A slave almost always has sexual duties to his or her master, and the role is implicitly sexual. Some guys, however, just get off on running errands, carrying luggage, fetching the car, and being a general servant -- sex not required and not preferred. These guys would enjoy servant role play, being a butler for someone for a period, being a houseboy, and cleaning up after someone (or a few people) for a weekend or so.
30. Food preparation/arrangement.
I recently attended Southeast Black and Blue -- a leather and fetish weekend gathering in Atlanta -- and participated in a human food play demonstration. A hairless male friend of mine was laid on a table wearing a blindfold while another guy -- the dominant in this scene -- prepared various fruits in chocolate fondue and turned him into a human food platter. The fruit was placed all over his body, and we ate off him.
It was delicious and also kind of hot and kind of lovely. The arrangement of strawberries and apple slices drizzled in caramel and chocolate around his cock made the whole visual resemble a bacchanal sculpture, something out of Bosch's The Garden of Earthly Delights.
The dom said he preferred his guys to be tied up. With experienced subs, he had even done knife play -- a kink practice that should be done with extreme caution from both dom and sub -- and literally cut and prepared the fruit on them without breaking their skin. He is a pro, folks -- don't try that at home.
Remember that spectrum I was talking about at the beginning? Where does "food play" fall on it? Funny? Dark? Dehumanizing? Carnal? Beautiful? The best and most interesting role-play fantasies dip into all of these. Puppy play certainly does.
There is no single, easy way to define sensation, just as there is no single, easy way to define sex. The worlds of sex role play are wide open to you to challenge and explore, create and define.
Stay beastly, lovers.
