22 Terrifying Sexual Fantasies That Must Be Talked About

22 Terrifying Sexual Fantasies That Must Be Talked About

Feeling kinky? Memorize SSC and RACK. SSC stands for “Safe, Sane, and Consensual.” RACK stands for “Risk Aware Consensual Kink.” Your sex play must meet these requirements — no exceptions. 

Not every fantasy or fetish is safe, legal, or right to act upon. “Safe, Sane, and Consensual” was the universal safety mantra until we admitted that some acceptable sex practices are implicitly not “safe,” although their risks can be alleviated by playing smartly. Then RACK — “Risk Aware Consensual Kink” — was coined. 

Are you interested in fisting, suspension bondage, gut-punching, ball-busting, or heavy BDSM? That’s fine. You can do these things as long as you do them consensually and fully prepared for the risks. SSC and RACK draw a hard line at consent. You’re not allowed to cross this line. Ever. You may never do anything to anyone without their permission. While these rules sound obvious, they exist for a reason. There are many terrifying fetishes in the world — fetishes that fall far outside these limits. Acting on them will land you in prison, hurt you, hurt others, or worse. 

These need to be talked about because they’re real and many people have them. Knowledge is power — talking about them keeps everyone safer. Browse these 22 terrifying fantasies that you need to be aware of.

A word of warning from Alex Cheves.

My name is Alexander Cheves, and I am known by friends in the kink and leather community as Beastly. I am a sex-positive writer and blogger. The views in this slideshow do not reflect those of The Advocate and are based solely off of my own experiences. Like everything I write, the intent of this piece is to break down the stigmas surrounding the sex lives of gay men.

Those who are sensitive to frank discussions about sex are invited to click elsewhere, but consider this: If you are outraged by content that address sex openly and honestly, I invite you to examine this outrage and ask yourself whether it should instead be directed at those who oppress us by policing our sexuality.

For all others, enjoy the slideshow. And feel free to leave your own suggestions of sex and dating topics in the comments.

Hungry for more? Follow me on Twitter @BadAlexCheves and visit my blog, The Beastly Ex-Boyfriend. 

1. Autoerotic asphyxiation.

MedicineNet.com states that around 1,000 Americans annually find loved ones dead of self-inflicted autoerotic asphyxiation. These deaths are rarely seen as suicides. Most are simply dangerous acts of self-pleasure gone wrong. 

When you cut off oxygen to your brain, the result can be a euphoric high. Some attempt this during masturbation — with rope, cords, and plastic bags over their heads. Doing so is deadly. It’s easy to pass out, suffocate and die. 

The most famous case of autoerotic asphyxiation is the 2009 death of David Carradine, who played the title character in Quentin Tarantino’s Kill Bill: Volume 2. Carradine was found dead in his Bangkok hotel room. Although his death was immediately assumed a suicide, two separate pathologists later ruled that it was accidental. Shortly after, two of his former wives came forward and said Carradine was into self-bondage — another dangerous fetish. Never do bondage solo. 

Kinksters (kinky people) know the risks of breathplay. As a kink, it should only be done sober and with someone else. If you’re interested in gas masks and the sexy accoutrements of breathplay (cigars, rubber, etc.), you can be one of those healthy, happy kinksters who enjoy it. 

2. The fetish for disfigurement and/or permanent bodily injury.

Some submissives get turned on at the thought of being permanently disfigured by their dominants.

If consent is given, are you allowed to injure or disfigure someone? No. The law will not be understanding. We don’t pardon people who intentionally, permanently injure someone else — even if it was done with the other person’s consent. 

3. The fetish of ripping off your d*ck.

Ederacinism is the fetish practice of ripping off your c*ck and b*lls. Some opinions on the internet, professional and nonprofessional, say this is less of a fetish and more of a sexual impulse done as the result of intense sexual shame. Some folks feel the urge to manually remove what they perceive to be the source of their “sinful” sexual impulses (which is not your genitalia — it’s your brain). The result is a bloody, self-castrating mess.

If you’re struggling with shame for your desires and have contemplated ederacinism, seek a therapist.

4. The fetish of becoming an amputee.

Acrotomophilia is sexual attraction to amputees and is actually common among fetishes. A more concerning fetish is apotemnophilia — the desire to become an amputee. If the fantasy of losing your lower leg turns you on, contact your nearest psychiatrist. 

5. Bug chasing.

Bug chasing is when an HIV-negative person seeks HIV. “Bug chasing” is Grindr speak — a casual phrase for a heavily tabooed practice. 

I’m HIV-positive. I have been approached by many men who’ve asked me to “poz” them. When this happens, I say no — for two reasons. 

The first: HIV criminalization laws are severe, and no jury is going to believe someone asked to be infected, even if it’s true. These laws exist because of widespread cultural pozphobia and an outdated legal system, one which refuses to understand the modern reality of HIV. We easily criminalize HIV-positive folks while those who willfully and consensually play with us get an automatic free pass. 

The second reason: I have an undetectable viral load, so I have almost no chance of spreading my virus, even if we bareback for hours. 

Many sexperts say bug chasing is formed out of fear of HIV, an offshoot of pozphobia itself. When the fear gets too paralyzing, we reason, folks develop a fetish for getting it — to alleviate the fear.

HIV is now a manageable illness and hardly warrants paralyzing fear. I will attest to such. But there is a line, however murky, between eroticizing risky sex and eroticizing the virus that may come as a result of it. Self-destructive behavior may sound fun, but make sure you are eroticizing the behavior, not the self-destruction. The latter leads down a dark road, one I’ve seen many folks get lost on.

6. The fetish for groping people in crowded places.

Frotteurism is the fetish of touching strangers in a crowded place, like on public transportation. Most folks know this as “groping,” which is nonconsensual and doesn’t pass SSC or RACK. Not OK. 

7. The fetish for touching someone while they sleep.

Somnophilia is erotic arousal from intruding on a stranger sleeping or waking someone up by touching them sexually. Consent cannot be given when someone is asleep, so acting on this impulse falls far outside SSC and RACK. This is molestation and sexual abuse — plain and simple. It can be deeply scarring to people. Don’t do it. 

8. The fetish for pubescent children.

Hebephilia (different from pedophilia, see number 11) is the sexual attraction to children between the ages of 11 to 14, the general age of puberty. Children cannot consent to sex as minors. You’re not allowed to have sex with kids. Period. This is a serious criminal offense. 

9. The fetish for corpses.

Necrophilia is arousal from dead bodies. The dead cannot give consent, and sexual pleasure from a dead body is generally regarded as a deep form of disrespect. Necrophilia is illegal in most of the United States. Most, but not all. North Carolina and Louisiana, moral beacons that they are, allow necrophilia, even though Louisiana still bans sodomy between two (consenting, living) adults. The sodomy ban is not legally enforceable, given the Supreme Court's ruling, but it's still on the books.

10. The fetish for accidents, tragedies, and disasters.

Symphorophilia is a fetish that can kill you — and others. People with symphorophilia get aroused watching (or staging) car crashes, house fires, collapsed bridges, natural disasters, etc. 

This fetish got some cult attention with the 1996 film Crash (based on the novel of the same name), which starred Holly Hunter. The characters of Crash get off from being in car crashes.

11. Pedophilia.

Pedophilia is the world’s most widely known and severely criminal fetish. It’s criminal for a reason. There are innumerable cases of pedophilia leading to lifelong trauma and suffering. 

Pedophilia, as discerned from hebephilia, is sexual attraction specifically to prepubescent children. Acting on pedophilia constitutes sexual abuse and will be punished by the law. 

In the social arena, “pedophilia” and “pedophile” are buzzwords often hurled at people who are not pedophiles — which hurts minority communities and exacerbates the real problem of pedophilia. Many LGBTQ people have been falsely called pedophiles by antigay and anti-trans people convinced that we are bent on “recruiting” young people into our “lifestyle.” But this bizarre and dangerous habit of deflecting, pointing fingers, and using scary social buzzwords actually makes the real problem of pedophilia worse, as real pedophiles fly under the radar. 

12. The fetish for dangerous, reckless, or illegal activity.

Folks with hybristophilia eroticize activities like robbing banks, street racing, Russian roulette, and daredevil stunts. Don’t try this at home. 

13. The fire fetish.

Pyrophiliacs get turned on by starting fires or seeing open flame. Some like it hot — too hot.

14. Vore.

Vorarephilia is when you get turned on at the idea of eating another person’s body parts or being eaten. You may have heard its more commonplace name — cannibalism. 

Folks with this fetish can enjoy a plethora of manga (Japanese comic art) on the internet. Vorarephilia has generally been shortened to "vore." 

Although the term “vore” wasn’t in vogue at the time, the most famous case of erotic cannibalism in recent memory is the Rotenburg Cannibal. Armin Meiwes (pictured above) — Der Metzgermeister (The Master Butcher) — ran a cannibalism fetish site out of his home in Rotenburg, Germany. In 2001, he placed an ad for a willing volunteer, a “well-built 18-to-30-year-old to be slaughtered and then consumed.” 

Several folks reportedly expressed interest but backed out at the last minute. Then a young man named Bernd Jürgen Armando Brandes from Berlin answered in the affirmative. 

Meiwes filmed their meeting and Brandes’s eventual gory demise. Meiwes cut off the young man’s penis and cooked it with salt, pepper, wine, and garlic, after which they both attempted to eat it. Then Meiwes stabbed the young man in the neck and hung his body on a meat hook. 

Over the next 10 months, Meiwes stored Brandes’s body parts in his home and ate up to 44 pounds of his flesh. The footage, still unreleased to the public, would later be used to convict Meiwes and sentence him to life imprisonment. 

3. The crush fetish.

Warning for those who wish to keep reading: The following paragraphs contain examples of animal abuse. 

Folks who enjoy the crush fetish get aroused watching people crush small objects (cigarettes, cell phones), insects, and animals. The latter typically takes the form of so-called “animal snuff” videos in which the “crushers” are usually women in high-heeled shoes. 

Several videos of living insects, small reptiles, birds, kittens, and even puppies being stepped on, sat on, and murdered have made their internet rounds. These videos are banned in the United States and U.K. 

The most notorious story of crush fetishim happened in the Philippines in 2011. Police arrested a married couple that had filmed dozens of crush videos and uploaded them onto the internet. One video showed a dog being blinded by a stiletto heel and puppies being stomped on till they vomited. 

People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals took a year tracking down the couple. They were eventually found and charged with animal cruelty, child abuse, and human trafficking. Mark Griffiths, professor of behavioral addiction at Nottingham Trent University, notes on his blog about extreme, compulsive behaviors that China has no animal welfare laws (and has the reported worst cases of institutionalized animal cruelty in the world), so crush videos are unrestricted there. Griffith recounts a Chinese crush video posted in 2010 (intentionally not linked to) of a young girl sitting on a rabbit and crushing it to death while her friends nearby laugh. 

If you’re turned on by crush videos, seek professional help. 

16. Rape.

Rape is a crime — one of the most overlooked and underreported crimes of all.

Since we’re talking about the fine line between healthy and unhealthy fetishes, I must state the obvious: Many people fantasize about rape — about raping someone or being raped themselves. Speaking as a submissive gay man who plays rough, I’ve been in many “rape fantasy” scenes. The word “rape” gets tossed around pretty loosely among people I play with: “I’m gonna rape that hole,” “You like getting raped, f*ggot?”

Despite the things they say to eroticize our play, this sex is consensual. I plan it. We schedule meeting times. This is rape fantasy, a form of fetish role play that is extremely popular in the world of kink.

The fine line between role play and rape is drawn at consent. Despite the words my playmates sometimes use during sex and their murky connotations, our play is still consensual. An unwarranted kiss or grope from someone I don’t know (which, sadly, happens a lot) feels violating and uncomfortable. I cannot imagine what rape feels like.

Report rape. Call the 24/7 National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673

17. The fetish for people with limited mobility.

Why is this ethically compromising? Here’s why. Many people with abasiophilia— a fetish for people with limited mobility, and for physical disabilities that create limited mobility — get turned on seeing a disabled person struggle without the devices they need to get around. 

Videos appealing to this fetish, which, like so many videos appealing to these terrifying fetishes, have made their rounds on the internet, feature quadriplegic men and women struggling to crawl up a set of stairs. This fetish borders on cruel — particularly if you take it a step further and fantasize disabling someone so that you may watch them struggle and suffer. 

18. The fetish for dangerous and cruel people.

Hybristophilia is the sexual attraction to people who have committed (or are actively committing) cruel and terrible crimes like murder, rape, torture, etc. It is generally seen as an extreme extension of masochism. 

19. Suicide fetish.

Autassassinophilia is derived from "auto" (oneself) and "assassin.” This is the fetish of being aroused at the thought of your suicide. Folks with this fetish may speed down winding roads with their lights off to get aroused, or find it titillating to tiptoe close to high ledges. 

If you’re having suicidal thoughts — even erotic ones — then please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, (800) 273-8255.

20. The fetish of falling down stairs.

Not kidding. Climacophilia is sexual arousal from watching someone fall down a flight of stairs, or falling down stairs yourself. 

Are you allowed to throw yourself down a flight of stairs? Not according to SSC, and the law will treat you for a mental illness, should you survive. Are you allowed to throw someone else down a flight of stairs? Never.

21. The fetish for nonhuman animals.

Zoophilia is arousal from nonhuman animals — dogs, cows, horses, sheep, etc. The young male protagonist of Peter Shaffer’s Eqqus, Alan Strang, displays zoophilia for horses. (Pictured above: Daniel Radcliffe took to the stage in a successful 2007 West End production of the play.)

A quick internet search will come up with countless amateur videos of humans fucking animals and animals fucking humans — some of them notorious, others quite horrifying. 

Most children of the internet remember the viral video Mr. Hands, which features zoophile Kenneth Pinyan of Enumclaw, Wash.,getting anally penetrated by a horse he and his buddies nicknamed “Big Dick.” The video circulated in the dark and scary corners of the internet in the early 2000s when it got out that Pinyan died shortly after the encounter due to “acute peritonitis [resulting from] perforation of the sigmoid colon during anal intercourse with a horse.” The encounter killed him. 

Although some kinksters will claim SSC and RACK only apply to humans, animal rights advocates disagree. Animals cannot give consent. In any case, zoophilia, as detailed above, can kill you.

22. The murder fetish.

Sexologists and psychiatrists call it erotophonophilia. Others call it homicide. This is sexual arousal from killing someone. 

Much of kink and BDSM is about power play and power dynamics. A lot of really hot sex scenarios involve overpowering someone — consensually and with respect to their limits, health, and safety. 

This is a far cry from the people who get aroused at the thought of killing. Folks with this fetish are dangerous and need help. If you have reason to think someone you know has this fetish, contact the police. If you think you yourself have this fetish, I suggest checking yourself into a hospital and getting help.

Remember: having a fetish is one thing. Acting on it is quite another. Our fantasies, our imaginations, can take us to dark and ethically compromising places. Much discussion rages about the fine line between erotic desire and mental disorder. In all cases, talk to someone. Therapists exist to help us stay well.