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Deciding how to handle microaggressions — and overt ignorance — is a full-time job for trans women of color.
Picture a sun-kissed young woman, striding with the quiet confidence of someone who's battled endlessly to be acknowledged for who she truly is. Imagine the weight she carries — her womanhood, her melanin, and her trans identity — each aspect an undeniable part of her truth. That young woman? It’s me. And my story, while unique in its chapters, is thematically synonymous with countless others: tales woven with threads of racism, sexism, misogynoir, and transphobia.
Flashback to May 2017. I orchestrated a meticulously planned debut for my new self — the 'full' unveiling, if you will. A year into my hormone therapy, it was time. While the artsy backdrop of the museum I worked at promised an open-minded ambience, reality proved to be a cocktail too sour to endure. The first day donning my new name badge was met with a coworker's scornful gaze and a boss who found my lashes a tad too bold for her taste. But this was only the opening act of the prejudices I would face.
Let’s now saunter down Hollywood’s glittered pathways where Angelica Ross graced the screens. But behind her illuminating performances lay battles against the intertwined adversaries of racism and transphobia. Although her star burns bright, her journey wasn't without dark episodes, like the casual misgendering by a peer and racially insensitive gestures by crew members. Her delayed revelations led many to question her, rather than the culprits.
Now, let’s jet across the Atlantic to the regal corridors of Buckingham Palace. Meghan Markle, the talented actress turned princess, found her Cinderella story marred by veiled racism and overt sexism. Every gaze, gesture, and outfit analyzed with racial undertones. The royal adage "never complain, never explain" was a mantra she seemingly had to swallow, much like the rest of us.
These stories — Angelica's, Meghan's, mine — though set against different backdrops, strike a similar chord. Our worth constantly assessed not by our feats and intelligence but our ability to endure with poised silence.
But should resilience always be silent? This silence, often deemed as strength, has its price. I bore the brunt of the museum’s microaggressions, but eventually found strength in voicing my displeasure. Speaking out wasn’t an option; it was a necessity. It was in Angelica’s defiance against Hollywood's bigotry, Meghan's raw revelations, and my stand against workplace prejudice that we found power in vulnerability.
Empowerment, for souls like us caught in the crosshairs of marginalized — if not overlapping marginalized — identities, means carving out spaces where our stories resonate unapologetically. It means pushing boundaries and stepping away from spaces that smother us. It’s speaking out, even when our voices quiver. It's in Meghan relocating for her family’s well-being, Angelica setting her sights on new ventures outside of Hollywood, and yours truly weaving narratives that represent my community.
In a world where each of us bears the weight of myriad expectations, isn’t it high time we stopped merely enduring and started thriving? Advocate, challenge, and take pride in every facet of who you are. As we continue to walk our paths, let's no longer bear our burdens in silence. Let’s use our voices to declare our worth and, in doing so, light the way for others.
Marie-Adélina de la Ferrière is the PR Specialist at equalpride, publisher of The Advocate, Out, Out Traveler, Plus, and Pride.com.
Views expressed in The Advocate’s opinion articles are those of the writers and do not necessarily represent the views of The Advocate or our parent company, equalpride.
