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Judge Aileen Cannon is a redo of Annie Wilkes in Misery

Judge Aileen Cannon is a redo of Annie Wilkes in Misery

Aileen Cannon United States District Judge Southern District of Florida photo illustration Annie Wilkes Kathy Bates Misery movie_RMweblead
photo illustration for The Advocate by Nikki Aye, images: Southern District of Florida Courts; Shutterstock Creative; Columbia Pictures

The jurist kept the Trump documents case tied up and then took a sledgehammer to justice.

Judge Aileen Cannon has become Annie Wilkes from the film Misery. As I wrote this piece about Cannon’s horrid decision today, I realized that the two are one in the same.

Let me explain. First, and to the most obvious comparison, watching her the last few months as she handled — or mangled — the case of Donald Trump hoarding top-secret documents illegally (he did, that’s obvious too) has been sheer misery.

Cannon has metaphorically kept the case, which many said was open-and-shut against Trump, tied up in knots, and she has used every trick in the book and delay tactics to keep it tied up. It’s like what Wilkes did with James Caan's character, author Paul Sheldon, in the film. Wilkes was not going to untie him and let him go. Instead, she used convoluted logic and insane methods to keep Sheldon under her control, tied to his bed. Sounds like what Cannon did with the Trump case.

One of the most glaring examples of Cannon’s convoluted logic and insane decisions was to appoint a special master to review documents seized by the FBI from Mar-a-Lago. This move was horrendous and an affront to our national security efforts. That decision alone, according to experts, could have jeopardized the lives of intelligent agents - until it was smartly overturned by an appeals court.

In Misery, Annie Wilkes had zero respect for the law. First, she murders a state trooper who sees Sheldon in her house, eventually running him over with a lawnmower. She also toyed with local Sheriff John Buster (played by Richard Farnsworth) until she finally killed him. Cannon almost had the blood of law enforcement on her hands like Wilkes did.

Sheriff Buster prophetically read from one of Sheldon’s Misery books, picking out a line that became one of the most famous lines of the movie (there are many): “There is a judge higher than that of man, I will be judged by Him.” In Cannon’s deluded head, she appears to think that a higher judge than her is...you guessed it, Trump!

That is evident in the way Cannon took a sledgehammer to precedent, process, and procedure as she slammed the legs of justice in order to knock out Trump’s document case. While Annie was slamming Sheldon’s legs, she bizarrely said to him, “God, I love you.” That’s exactly what Cannon probably said to herself about Trump when she struck down his document case with blunt force.

In the film, Wilkes makes Sheldon rewrite his latest book because she hates that he killed off her favorite character in the tome. That’s what Cannon did to Special Counsel Jack Smith, making him go back to the drawing board numerous times to rewrite his case (in lay terms) — remember, open-and-shut — against Trump.

When Wilkes hates the new version of the manuscript, she makes Sheldon burn it, saying he “must rid the world of this filth.” Surely, that was Cannon's reasoning when she took a proverbial match today to Smith’s case by ruling his appointment was illegal.

OK, as you can tell, I can do this all day, but the comparisons are eerie. In fact, I can see Cannon returning to her pristine home this evening, putting on her Liberace records, drinking a celebratory glass of Dom Perignon, pulling out one of her dozen copies of TheArt of the Deal to read - for the umpteenth time.

Am I making a mockery of Cannon? Yes! Because clearly she’s made a mockery of justice.

She has been widely accused of interfering with Smith — unprecedented, I might add — and defending Trump.

Again, in lay terms, what she did today would mean that the work of Archibald Cox of Watergate, Ken Starr of Whitewater/Monicagate, Robert Mueller of Russian election interference, among others, should be nullified.

Someone, anyone, needs to move to disbar her; however, if that decision is left to the Supreme Court for example, and I have no idea whether it is or not, they won’t budge. She is a member of the ultra, ultraconservative Federalist Society, that also includes the sickening six, Supreme Court Justices Roberts, Alito, Thomas, Kavanaugh, Gorsuch, and Barrett. Birds of a dark crow’s feather flock together. Trump appointees are destroying the foundation of our judicial system, liberty and justice for all.

Special Counsel Smith will appeal, and the appeals court, unless it’s obtuse, will reverse Canon’s ruling. But guess what? Trump would likely appeal, and so the Supreme Court could agree to hear this case. Now, what do you think will happen? If they can give Trump immunity, they'll certainly give Cannon a pat on the back for a "job well done.,' because her actions in line with the views of the Federalist Society.

However, Smith can go to the appeals court and ask to have her removed. After all, it’s overruled her twice, so the third time's a charm. But even that might be a long shot despite all the outcry about Cannon.

Legal experts of every shape and size condemned Cannon’s decision, arguing that it lacked a solid legal basis and was a clear deviation from standard judicial practice. Well, everything she does is a deviation from standard practice. By bending the rules to favor Trump, perhaps her way of thanking him for appointing her, Cannon undermines the core principle of judicial impartiality. Her decisions are more influenced by political loyalty to Trump and to the Federalists, rather than the rule of law.

We keep hearing about the low trust in the Supreme Court, and Cannon underscores this. Public confidence in the judiciary is essential for the functioning of our democracy. When judges are perceived as being biased or corrupt, it undermines the legitimacy of the entire legal system. People must believe that they will receive fair treatment under the law regardless of their political affiliations or connections. By repeatedly issuing rulings that favor a particular corrupt political figure, i.e. Trump, Cannon has damaged this essential trust, just like her Federalist cronies on SCOTUS.

Given the seriousness of her actions, there is a compelling case for Cannon to be disbarred. It would send a clear message that judges are not above the law and that those who abuse their power will be held accountable.

Cannon is just one more reason that if Trump wins, judges of her ilk will be flooding into our justice system. If we think Alito, Thomas, Gorsuch, Kavanaugh, Barrett, and Cannon are bad, we ain’t seen nothing yet. If Trump has his way, each and every judge, like Cannon, will have an unwavering commitment not to the idea of justice but to their idolized despot. Theoretically, if Trump wins, he could return the favor to Cannon, and appoint her to the Supreme Court. That's not out of the realm of possibility given the way Trump thinks.

Cannon will make her case to Trump that she deserves to be elevated, by telling him in her best Annie Wilkes voice, “I'm your number one fan. There's nothing to worry about. You're going to be just fine. I will take good care of you. I'm your number one fan.”

Voices is dedicated to featuring a wide range of inspiring personal stories and impactful opinions from the LGBTQ+ community and its allies. Visit Advocate.com/submit to learn more about submission guidelines. Views expressed in Voices stories are those of the guest writers, columnists and editors, and do not directly represent the views of The Advocate or our parent company, equalpride.

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John Casey

John Casey is senior editor of The Advocate, writing columns about political, societal, and topical issues with leading newsmakers of the day. The columns include interviews with Sam Altman, Neil Patrick Harris, Ellen DeGeneres, Colman Domingo, Jennifer Coolidge, Kelly Ripa and Mark Counselos, Jamie Lee Curtis, Shirley MacLaine, Nancy Pelosi, Tony Fauci, Leon Panetta, John Brennan, and many others. John spent 30 years working as a PR professional on Capitol Hill, Hollywood, the Nobel Prize-winning UN IPCC, and with four of the largest retailers in the U.S.
John Casey is senior editor of The Advocate, writing columns about political, societal, and topical issues with leading newsmakers of the day. The columns include interviews with Sam Altman, Neil Patrick Harris, Ellen DeGeneres, Colman Domingo, Jennifer Coolidge, Kelly Ripa and Mark Counselos, Jamie Lee Curtis, Shirley MacLaine, Nancy Pelosi, Tony Fauci, Leon Panetta, John Brennan, and many others. John spent 30 years working as a PR professional on Capitol Hill, Hollywood, the Nobel Prize-winning UN IPCC, and with four of the largest retailers in the U.S.