Standing up for our trans children

The President's executive orders attacking transgender Americans and seeking to ban their health care take away decisions that belong inside the family and threaten the safety of our children, despite their attempts to claim the high ground on parental choice.
On February 19, the federal Health department issued guidance interpreting these orders, recognizing only two sexes and eliminating any reference to gender. These orders and guidance rely on public ignorance about transgender youth. As parents of transgender children, here's what we want you to know.

First, know this: our kids did not choose to be transgender. Our children's only choice was to come out and share their experiences and who they are. For some of us, our kids knew early that they were a different gender than their sex assigned at birth; for others, it came later, with a different language along the way. For one of us, "[t]he way I saw him look at himself in the mirror was as though he was seeing himself for the first time." For another, "[i]t was as if a dimmer switch had been on, that we hadn't realized was there. When our daughter was allowed to transition, she came back to life, her personality shone so brightly. She withstood bullying from children and adults but never wavered in being herself. Being transgender is not a costume that she can take off." They can no more change this than the color of their eyes.

Look at our children, and you'll see kids just like yours.

They're on the soccer field and the debate team. They are artists, writers, and scientists. They tease their siblings at the dinner table. When politicians speak with contempt about transgender children, remember: they're talking about our beautiful, ordinary children who simply want to belong.

We love and protect our kids like any parent would. That means making informed healthcare decisions in consultation with medical professionals who understand their needs. You wouldn't want politicians treating your child's asthma or setting a broken arm, so why should they interfere with other essential medical care?

Yet, with the stroke of a pen, elected officials are trying to deny our ability to make those decisions with our own children. This is a cruel overreach that weaponizes government power to single out one group of people for who they are and prevent them from receiving essential medical care.

These executive orders misrepresent the gender-affirming care our children receive. Every major medical association in the United States, from the American Academy of Pediatrics to the American Medical Association, supports gender-affirming care for transgender youth. In our experience, these treatments are not prescribed lightly—they involve careful evaluations, years of waiting, thoughtful discussions, and the informed consent of parents, caregivers, and medical professionals.

These orders do more than limit medical treatment, and our kids know it. Taken together, they target transgender Americans—limiting their rights in schools, banning them from sports, restricting their access to public spaces, challenging their ability to travel with identification, and shutting off access to their health care. These attacks don't just create legal obstacles; they fuel a climate of fear, sending a message to our kids that they should be afraid to be themselves. Our kids, especially the ones who are old enough, have asked us searing questions: why does the government hate us? Why do I have to hide? Who can I talk to that doesn't hate me? Is it safe to talk to people if I hide my identity?

The legality of these executive orders will be determined in court. But the bigger question is whether this administration succeeds in making transgender people feel unsafe. We decide how we treat one another. You don't need to be the parent of a transgender child to recognize and resist this cruelty.

• Listen with an open heart to transgender people and amplify their stories.
• Demand your representatives listen to the experts who oppose anti-trans policies.
• Devote your time and energy to organizations working for transgender rights.
• Challenge discrimination in your communities.

Our children deserve to grow up in a country that embraces them. We won't rest until the country they love loves them back.

— Signed,

Audrey Roofeh
Nicholas Gordon
Sam Long
Sherry Turner