Here’s why Republicans are poised to dismantle marriage equality

I just finished working on my first book, :LOVE: The Heroic Stories Behind Marriage Equality, which will come out from Rizzoli next year on the 10th anniversary of Obergefell v. Hodges, the landmark Supreme Court ruling that established marriage equality nationwide.

I brag about the book for a reason. When I tell people about it, almost unanimously they ask me if President-elect Donald Trump, the Republican majorities in the House and Senate, and the conservative Supreme Court will work together — or separately — to someday overturn marriage equality.

The question is usually phrased as a question: “Oh, I don’t think they’ll come after marriage equality?” And my response is a rhetorical question: “Wanna make a bet?”

Having written for the last few months about marriage equality and spoken with many of the courageous couples who put their lives and livelihoods on the line to make it happen, I’ve come away with a deep appreciation for the sanctity of their marriages and all of those within our community. These couples fought hard. They fought long. They fought against stereotypes. They fought after losing continually. They fought mightily so that our community could have the right to wed who we love.

I’m thinking about all those I spoke with as the GOP and the extreme right start to gloat not only about Trump’s election win but also about how that will translate to dissolving LGBTQ+ rights.

That call to overturn marriage equality has already started. As we reported, Michigan Republican state Rep. Josh Schriver, who represents a district near Detroit, posted on X (formerly Twitter) this week that the United States should “make gay marriage illegal again.”

All Schriver did was say the quiet part out loud, taking his cues from the two most outspoken opponents of marriage equality, Justices Clarence Thomas and Samuel Alito.

They have made their intentions regarding marriage equality alarmingly clear. In a 2020 statement, they criticized Obergefell v. Hodges, claiming it undermines religious freedom. Their words signaled a willingness — and no doubt a strong desire — to revisit and dismantle the hard-won rights of millions who have already married, some of whom I have spoken with at length. Everyone I know is concerned about what the court might do.

Thomas and Alito’s words and positions, coupled with their repeated alignment with far-right ideologies, are a chilling reminder that the rights we cherish are not guaranteed. Marriage equality, a cornerstone of dignity and love, faces potential erosion under their scrutiny. We should be afraid, and we should be ready to fight.

However, the Supreme Court is only the beginning.

Unless you’ve been living under a rock or are in strong denial, then you are aware that Project 2025 poses a direct threat to marriage equality, seeking to replace inclusive policies with a restrictive, right-wing Christian view of family structures throughout the Trump administration. The plan aims to divert federal resources to promote a “biblically based” definition of family, effectively sidelining the rights of LGBTQ+ couples.

Going even further, Project 2025 proposes dismantling equity initiatives in favor of policies that exclusively prioritize “stable, married, nuclear families,” while safeguarding adoption and foster care agencies that discriminate against LGBTQ+ married couples. Furthermore, it asserts that children should be raised exclusively by their “biological” fathers and mothers, marginalizing diverse family dynamics and undermining the progress made toward equality.

So this brings me back to that question, and why it’s ridiculous that that statement is generally offered as a question. You have a court ready to pounce on marriage. You have a Trump administration that will be heavily staffed by and with departments headed by proponents of and contributors to Project 2025.

And then you have the crown jewel, a U.S. House run by Speaker Mike Johnson who is ferociously anti-LGBTQ+. Johnson has referred to same-sex relationships as “inherently unnatural” adding that “society cannot give its stamp of approval to such a dangerous lifestyle.”

Not stopping there, Johnson added, “If we change marriage for this tiny, modern minority, we will have to do it for every deviant group. Polygamists, polyamorists, pedophiles, and others will be next in line to claim equal protection.” Then grotesquely saying it would allow people to marry their pets.

Johnson will be aided by the new Senate majority leader, South Dakota Republican John Thune, and as we reported, he has scored mostly zeroes on the Human Rights Campaign’s Congressional Scorecard. Most notably, Thune voted against 2022’s Respect for Marriage Act, which wrote marriage equality into federal law.

Now, if you connect the dots, you have a complete picture of what we will be up against: a conservative majority on the Supreme Court, Project 2025 running the administration, and anti-LGBTQ+ House and Senate leaders. The confluence is a perfect storm of forces that are ready to throw marriage equality out the window.

And all this is frightening — and real. To those who say you can’t take someone’s marriage away, well, you're not paying attention. It took years and years of fighting to get where we are today, and all it will take are decisions, rules, and legislation that will take it all away. Nothing should be taken for granted.

For anyone out there who is in a same-sex spouse, I can only imagine your fear in having your union vaporized. The threat is very real. They can’t undo something that has already been bonded? How do you nullify millions of marriages? As the old saying goes, if there is a will — and there is — there is a way.

I've been asked by several same-sex couples who are planning to marry next year, if they should at least have a civil ceremony now or in the not too distant future, just in case. My answer has been "absolutely." We cannot predict the speed at which the extreme right will try to dismantle marriage equality.

To all those who think it could never happen. Think again. The hate of these individuals knows no bounds. They are yearning for the days of the 1950s, when “homosexuals” were considered “deviants.” When we lived in fear. When we were considered wretched. When we had to hide who we were and when we were prevented from marrying the ones we love.

“Oh, they won’t come after marriage equality?” Wanna make a bet?

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