Somewhere between the song "Wake Up Little Susie" by the Everly Brothers and Seinfeld’s famous nonexistent "Susie," we find Maine Republican U.S. Sen. Susan Collins. Did “Susie” wake up today and finally start to chastise Donald Trump, or will this version of Collins vanish and go the way of Elaine Benes's famous fabricated coworker Susie?
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Last week, I wrote how the pliable Collins helped erase the memory of “moderate Republicans” by caving into voting for Trump’s woefully unprepared and inadequate Cabinet nominees, namely newly confirmed Director of National Intelligence Tulsi Gabbard (God help us) and Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. (God help us even more).
Then it was as if the Everly Brothers were Collins’s song alarm Wednesday morning. Did she rise to “Wake Up Little Susie,” and did the song earworm its way into her head? How else to explain her interview today with Politico today where she takes the Trump administration to task for blocking spending already approved by Congress?
"I think it's pretty clear that this violates Article One of the Constitution," Collins, who is the chair of the Senate Appropriations Committee, told Politico.
Um, come again? When I saw this I was shocked, and I wasn’t the only one. I got a text from a friend with the link to the article, and one word, “Wow!” How to explain this? Again, I defer to the Everly Brothers, “Well, what are we gonna tell your mama? What are we gonna tell your pa? What are we gonna tell our friends when they say, ‘Ooh la la!’"
Yes, ooh la la to Collins for showing some spine! But this will be short-lived for sure.
My bet is that Collins vanishes like Susie from Seinfeld. When it comes time to pass Trump’s “for the rich only” budget, which would be the perfect time to actually stop Trump’s full transformation of the government into his own personal fiefdom, she’ll cave. The image of a strong fighter Collins is part of Washington mythology.
Let’s rewind. This is the same Collins who once assured America that Brett Kavanaugh would never overturn Roe v. Wade before he promptly did just that. The same Collins who insists she is “concerned” every time Trump bulldozes another democratic norm, only to clutch her pearls and do absolutely nothing about it.
She’s already planting her Susie from Seinfeld seeds. When she was asked if she would fight the administration and play hardball, she deferred to a judge. “He'd be violating the Budget Control and Impoundment Act of 1974,” Susie demurred.
Why wouldn’t she deflect? She’s being ignored by Elon Musk, Trump's handpicked budget-slicer. Musk is bypassing Collins entirely as he guts federal agencies and fires government workers. Without thinking, she admitted to Politico that she hasn’t talked to Musk since their one and only meeting — last year! And promise not to laugh? She said of Musk at the time that she was “impressed.” God help us, yet again.
Collins seems to imply that she’s a major player in all of this budget talk, but is she really? Is Musk simply not returning her calls? Or are Trump and his cronies not consulting her?
The real players? Speaker Mike Johnson and the House’s number 1 wack-a-doodle, Marjorie Taylor Greene, did meet with Musk at the White House last week — Johnson for obvious reasons, and Greene because she is the chair of the House subcommittee that exists specifically to complement Musk’s efforts to dismantle what’s left of the federal government.
And the real budget czar? That would be Russ Vought, Trump’s director of the Office of Management and Budget. Let the record show, once again, that Collins voted in favor of Vought, who famously is the mastermind of Project 2025. Now Vought, thanks to Collins, is on a budget-bashing, “take no prisoners tear” like a hatchet-wielding bureaucratic banshee.
Do you see why we just can’t believe anything that Collins says?
Collins’s role in this grand drama seems to be more like the Senate’s chief "tsk-tsker." She will issue concerned statements, lament the state of affairs, and, at best, assure us that lawsuits “might” happen, someday, by someone; yet, when the dust settles, and government agencies lie in ruins, she will stand among the wreckage, wring her hands, and sigh, “Well, who could have seen this coming?”
The answer, of course, is everyone.
But, she can do something. So, here’s my message to her: WAKE UP, SUSIE! You’re the chair of the powerful Senate Appropriations Committee. If you believe Trump and Musk are breaking the law, then call them before your committee. You have the power of the subpoena. Make them come to you. Show them that they aren’t in charge of government purse strings. You are! Your tepid callout pales dramatically in comparison to what you could be doing.
Having said that, the real question remains: Did little Susie wake up this morning and decide to stand against Trump and Musk? Or is she, like Susie from Seinfeld, just a convenient fiction?
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