Meet 10 Queer High Schoolers Who Are Proud of Their Faith
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In honor of Pride month and in leading up to Queer Youth of Faith Day (QYFDAY) on June 30, Beloved Arise, a national organization “dedicated to celebrating and empowering queer youth and young adults from all faith traditions,” is amplifying the voices of several young LGBTQ+ people. After a nationwide multi-faith contest with nearly 100 entries, Beloved Arise selected the stories of 10 high school seniors who shared personal stories about their connection to faith and spirituality. Read excerpts from each of their winning submission essays below. (All images of contest participants are courtesy of Beloved Arise.)
Ashley Petrave (she/her), Muslim
Ashley felt lost because the Muslim community claims that being trans or gay is a sin, but she has realized that other people's perceptions of her faith don’t matter. Now, she proudly embraces her faith and sexuality.
"The idea of converting to another religion never dawned upon me at first. I was okay with being spiritual and believing in the Universe but joining another religion? It just seemed abnormal. I had a recurring question: how will I fit in? How does a first-generation Jamaican raised Christian decide to be Jewish, Buddhist, or Muslim? Now that I've reverted to Islam, I can answer that question: you don't. You don't get up one day and decide to be anything. You put your trust in God and allow him to guide you. Finding Islam and putting my trust in Allah has healed me and the resentment I had for Christianity. I finally feel comfortable, at peace, and safe. I don't allow homophobic Muslims or Islamophobes to drive me away from being my authentic self."
Avery Anderson (she/her), Christian
Avery's mother tried to "fix" her by taking her to church. She had a fear that God would disown her for being different, but in time God taught her that she was never a person who needed to be “fixed.”
"Religion and sexuality, I’ve learned, though both intertwined through politics are vastly different. Religion you’re born into, accepted and even implored for celebrating it, but sexuality can make bloodlines collapse and motherly love crumble. I feared God and gave into the hate that surrounded me. That idea that they would disown me, send me to Hell for doing nothing more than loving someone. Church is still a place I fear to step foot in, as though the ginormous hats old ladies wear might morph into monsters, dragging me into pit's of damnation I dug for myself, with the shovel handed to me by my mother. But yet, I found peace in scriptures. In words shared by believers in God’s love for all. Slowly I began to fill my hollowed heart with hallowed words from those who believed in a God who loves all. Each time I find myself doubting God’s love for me, I remember, their place of worship was where I met my first queer love. And because of God, I now know I am not something that needs to be fixed."
Ceaje Hicks (he/they), Lakota Spirituality
Ceaje was raised as both Christian and Lakota, and spirituality left him feeling ostracized. In time, Ceaje found more belonging with Lakota and he now understands that life goes on no matter how people view him for who he is and what he believes in. Now, he lives in harmony with the world and his place in it.
"Religion has always been a bit of a touchy subject for me; my mother is Lakota and my father is Christian, so growing up I attended both to appease them. While I have no problems with Christians, the religion itself always felt disconnected from me.... My whole life has revolved around my spirituality and it still does. Sage burns in my room to cleanse my mind, cinders are swept away to dispose of negative energy, and I breathe in the hope of my future. Dream catchers hang above my bed to capture negative thoughts as I sleep peacefully and cedar rests in my car to ensure safe travels. I believe everything is created equal, that my brothers and sisters are people, animals, and plants. My spirituality is as much of who I am as my sexual and gender identity is. My spirituality has been there through all of the awkward conversations that have left me feeling dejected and ostracized, my ancestors have sat beside me through all of the nights screaming about wanting to be accepted, and the spirits have forgiven me for trying to change and hide myself from others."
Jainyn Boyd (she/her), Buddhism
Before Jainyn discovered Buddhism, she felt restricted by the Mormon religion and repressed her genuine self. Buddhism is helping Jainyn find the power within herself and nurture it to allow for spiritual growth and humanistic development.
"Before Buddhism, my relationship with religion and spirituality was based on two things: fear and obedience. Growing up as a woman in the Mormon church, I was confined to conformity and lived my life within the parameters of the church.... Once I began to integrate Buddhism into my life, I realized that I needed to allow myself to grow. I needed to create peace with myself in the present, and be able to keep my mind open to future remedies and growth. Which is another aspect of Buddhism I genuinely love. Growth and change are a part of connecting with yourself and your life. You must know yourself as a person and understand yourself in order to grow from the experiences holding you back. In times when negativity and judgment can cloud your mind, you must learn to respond with kindness and patience. Buddhism showed me my light, and I want to continue showing this light to others through love and understanding."
James Barnes (he/him), Religious Society of Friends/Quakers
At thirteen, when James came out as transgender, religion was the farthest thing from his mind. He was battling dysphoria, anorexia, and self-harm. In a time of despair, James discovered the Religious Society of Friends and immediately felt at peace and at home. He is fully embraced for who he is and how he identifies.
"I never knew a person could feel so much despair [after my house burnt down], the happy person I became disappeared. I cried myself to sleep every night, and relapsed into my worst habits. Every day was a fight to keep my head above the sea of depression. I had to do something, or else I’d drown. Then I found the Religious Society of Friends, otherwise known as Quakers.... I’ve known about Quakers for a few years, and always admired them for their commitment to social justice. My local Quaker meeting had a booth at my city’s pride festival. I was desperate for community, so I decided, 'Why not?' Quakerism, at least the liberal sect, is different from other Christian groups. There’s no pastor. Quakers believe in experiencing God directly through the light found in everyone. Everyone has a different relationship to God, some are agnostics while others are firm believers. Being in a spiritual space where nobody tells me what to believe is freeing."
Lailen Buckman (they/them), Judaism
Lailen is Jewish, nonbinary, and proud — but it wasn't always this way. Growing up, Lailen struggled with social needs and religious beliefs. One day, Lailen’s sister shared a story about a Holocaust survivor standing true to their faith, and Lailen decided to stand true in their beliefs too. Now, despite the jokes, Lailen refuses to hide their identity.
"After a particularly long day of antisemitism, I sat down with my sister to do some homework and saw her wearing a Star of David necklace. It glinted at me as I asked her 'Why are you still wearing that?' She looked up at me, put her pencil down and asked: 'Remember when we went to the holocaust museum?' 'Yah' I responded, thinking back to the solemn field trip we had taken with our Hebrew learning class. 'Well, there was a holocaust survivor answering questions. We were running a bit late, but each one of us got to ask a question. So, I asked her if she had ever hidden her Judaism.' I waited patiently for her answer. 'She said, Never.' That moment changed me. My ancestors, my people, had been enslaved, imprisoned, gassed, burned, and my little sister was able to stare hatred in the face and tell it No. No, she won’t conform, and no she won’t hide who she is, because if that woman in the museum could survive Nazi Germany and still be a proud Jew then so could she."
Leanna Cheeseman (they/them), Judaism
Leanna feels empowered as she has been able to be queer and practice Judaism, something that was looked down upon for years. Every time she touches the Star of David necklace passed down to her from her family, she feels a direct connection that goes back four generations, from her grandmother’s mother who fled Poland for America before the Holocaust, to who she is now, discovering her nonbinary identity.
"On the morning of my Bat Mitzvah I had a panic attack in the Rabbi’s study.... I was 12 years old, objectively the most awkward age of all time and now I had to go onto the Bima as my entire family stared at me expectantly? And then I had to go to a party and put on a smile as relatives I didn’t recognize marveled over how tall I’d gotten? I realized I hated my dress, hated the way I looked in it, hated the expectations that came with being the Bat Mitzvah Girl. I had only realized I might not be a girl at all a couple weeks prior and the thought of being paraded around the sanctuary as the Rabbi proclaimed that I was now a woman in the eyes of God filled me with dread.... I hardly remember the service, I guess I was running on adrenaline and maybe some divine intervention. The only thing I remember with clarity was how heavy the Torah was when it was placed into my hands. Physically of course but also spiritually. I was holding the entire origin story of the Jewish people, ancient words spoken by ancient people that somehow managed to survive millennia of religious persecution."
Madeline Smith (she/her), Christian
Madeline doesn't think faith or sexuality is something you should have to hide, so she felt torn because she thought she needed to be straight in order to go to heaven. In time, she realized that she didn’t need someone else to interpret God’s word for her. Through her journey, she has only gotten closer with God and her faith.
"My religion was not something I hid and I was proud to be a part of the faith and one of God’s children. That is, until, I had a major turning point in my sexuality and caused me to question many of my beliefs including my religious faith. Up until my junior year of high school, I believed that you had to be straight in order to go to Heaven, or be a Christian.... When I finally acted on my feelings and came out to my family and friends, everybodies first words to me were, 'But aren’t you a Christian? What do you really think God would think about you right now?' I always responded with, God will be the one to judge my sins, not you."
Ria Saxena (any pronouns), Sikhism
Ria was raised both Hindu and Sikh, something that always felt like trying to combine water and oil. Ria felt conflicted with being genderfluid and trying to connect with religion, until one day Sikhism inspired Ria to become involved in volunteer work and dedicate time to serving humanity.
"It took fifteen years but I finally understood why religion was good and worth it: because it empowered so many people to conceptualize the greater good and bring the world towards a better place. I turn back the pages of time and see Joan of Arc saving France by hearing the voice of God; I see Malcom X recommence the Civil Rights movement through his devotion to Islam. And then I flip forward and see my Sikh sahibs taking care of people no matter their background. Religion wasn’t always important to me, yet after this reflection I realized that God wasn’t just a cultural figurehead but a way of life that could truly help others."
Shayna Javaherian (she/her), Rabbinic Judaism
Shayna always struggled with how her identity fits into her religious beliefs, but she has learned to fully embrace that she is autistic, aromantic, and asexual.
"I have always struggled with how my identity fits in with my religious beliefs, not only being aromantic and asexual, but also being autistic. The observant Jewish community isn’t exactly known for candid discussions about any of those things. Marrying and having a family is the goal in life, the next step in getting closer to G-d. A woman not being married isn’t seen as her decision, it’s seen as unfortunate.... But, I know I was created the way I am for a reason. That first match, the divine words that matched my soul to my body, created me the way I am; autistic, asexual, aromantic. Divine words did not create me in a way that is inherently flawed or lesser than, I was created exactly the way that I need to be."
